Would you like to go to see live theater this weekend, but have a limited budget? Here’s an idea: Go see the Divine Savior Holy Angels production of “The Wiz”! It’s family fun that’s truly affordable!

 

 

 

DSHA High School is presenting the Tony Award winning musical, The Wiz November 6 through 9^th in the Robert and Marie Hansen Family Fine Arts Theatre located at 4257 North 100^th Street, Milwaukee. 

 

Travel alongside Dorothy and her infamous friends as they “Ease on Down” the yellow brick road in search of brains, a heart, some courage and a way home.  It’s the infamous tale of tornados, witches, flying monkeys, and a journey toward the Emerald City, but be ready for a few surprises along the way.  This high energy show (featuring several Tosa students) is packed with new twists around every turn.  Get swept away to a land that will have your toes tapping, your sides splitting, and will leave you dancing down the aisles. 

 

Tickets are only $10 for adults and $8 dollars for children under 12. The DSHA Box Office is open Wednesday, 3pm – 6pm, Thursday, 3-5 pm and you can buy tickets at the door. The Box Office is located through the front entrance of DSHA High School or by calling (414) 616-2813.  You may also order tickets online by visiting the school website at www.dsha.info . (Click on “Shop DSHA.”) 

 

Performances begin at 7pm Thursday, Friday and Saturday and 2pm for the Sunday matinee.  Don’t miss out on an experience the whole family will enjoy!

 

 

The other day was garbage day. I went through my usual routine – picking up garbage throughout the house and bringing it out to our garbage can. And then, because it was recycling week, I made extra sure to find all of the used magazines and papers and cans and bottles that needed to be recycled.

 

And then a funny thing happened. Just as I was about to roll my garbage and recycling carts to the curb, I looked into them one last time. At that moment I realized that my garbage cart was only half-full and my recycling cart was absolutely packed.

 

Imagine that. Even here, in our house, where we seem to generate more garbage per person than the average household, recycling works. Who knew?

 

OK, this part is not about trash (or maybe you’ll think it is.) It’s just sort of a fun little “bonus” to this post. Here’s a music video of a song written by a Tosa college kid. (Yeah, it’s that one.) It will take you exactly 3 minutes and 23 seconds to decide whether it’s trash. I know, I’m shameless.

 

(Oh, and no, that's not that kid in the video.)

There’s a brief but interesting discussion on the Tosa Town Square about watching fireworks on TV. This is something that fascinates me, for no good reason except that I have a strong opinion on the topic.

 

Here’s the thing: I love fireworks. I love TV. (Sad, but true.) So, you would think that combining two of my favorite things would make a new thing that I would like even better. Not so much.

 

I believe that fireworks should never be shown on TV. Never. They just don’t work. To me, fireworks on TV seem like a great idea. You don’t have to battle crowds, look for a spot to sit, or soak yourself in bug spray.* You can sit in your comfy, perhaps air-conditioned, house and enjoy the show.

 

The thing is, there’s nothing less-fulfilling than watching fireworks on TV. Except perhaps watching taped Olympics coverage when you know the results. (Don’t worry. I’ll get on that soapbox later in the summer.) I have no interest in what Mike and Carol think about the fireworks. Zero. In fact, they annoy me to no end.

 

To truly enjoy a fireworks show, you have to earn it. You have to search for parking. You have to lug and carry stuff until you’re sweating. You have to try to get comfortable. And then, hardest of all, you have to wait. And if you have young children, you have to listen to the endless questions and whiny cries: “What time is it?” “When will they start?” “I’m bored!” “I have to go to the bathroom.”

 

But when the fireworks start…when you feel that first gigantic percussion resonate in your chest…it’s so worthwhile.

 

And I agree with the citizens on the Town Square. Skip the music, unless by music you mean the chorus of “oohs” and “ahhs” that you can’t avoid joining in on.

 

While I have your ear, let’s talk a little fireworks etiquette:

 

(1) Leave Fido at home. I’ve seen far too many cowering, trembling pooches at the Tosa fireworks every year. The dogs do not look happy and their owners are clearly not enjoying themselves.

(2) Leave the sparklers at home. Sparklers in your backyard – good idea. Sparklers in a giant crowd of people – very bad idea.

(3) Unless you’re joining in the Oohs and Ahhs Chorus, please don’t talk over my fireworks. It’s only about 30 minutes. Feel free to chat before or after. Definitely not during.

(4) Wait to leave or be nice. The crowds are going to be HUGE. You may as well take your time leaving or accept that it will take you a while. Honking or getting irritated adds nothing to the equation.

 

Here’s wishing everyone a Happy and SAFE 4^th of July! See you at the fireworks!

 

*In my last post, I talked about the shortage of bug spray at local stores. A visit yesterday to the Walgreens at Hwy 100 and North Ave. proved me totally wrong. They had lots of bug spray. Just in time for the fireworks!

Teens these days. They’re so, so, so…willing to sacrifice their time and comfort and….gasp...even their cell phones to do something for other people.

 

Wait…what?! Right now you’re wondering if I’m serious, right? Believe it or not, I am.

 

Saturday morning, at the crack of dawn, more than 50 teens and 15 adult leaders from three Wauwatosa churches gathered in the drizzle at St. Pius XI parish. They loaded gear into a fleet of full-size vans and prepared to drive to Kentucky where they will build and repair homes for some of the poorest people living in the Appalachian Mountains. (Later this summer, other groups will venture to South Dakota and Milwaukee’s inner city to do similar work.)

 

I have heard about The Appalachian Service Project (ASP) for many years. It seems that every teen or adult that has ever gone on this trip has had nothing but great things to say about the experience. This year, my daughter joined the group, as did WauwatosaNOW’s own blogger, Maddie McLennon.

 

I find it pretty impressive that so many teens would give up an entire week of their hard-earned summer to work really hard for someone they don’t know and then sleep on an air mattress in an un-air-conditioned facility. Talk about going outside your comfort zone!

 

Thinking back on my own teen summers, I’m embarrassed to admit that they were largely self-serving, unless my mom finally guilted me into doing something worthwhile. Suffice it to say that I never did anything remotely resembling service to others. I’m pretty proud that my daughter didn’t follow in my footsteps.

 

As a parent, it seems very strange to be out of touch with my daughter for an entire week. (Cell phones are not allowed on the trip, nor would they likely get reception in such a remote area.) Today, we usually have instant access to our kids wherever they go. The idea that I can’t check in on my daughter is a little unnerving…but also somewhat liberating.

 

Maybe this experience changes parents as well as teens. Maybe it was time for us to let go a little and see just exactly what our children are capable of doing on their own.

 

I can’t wait to hear my daughter’s stories and hope that Maddie will also share some with all of us in her next blogpost. If you think of it, say a prayer for safe travels and a meaningful experience for all involved.

So...I know this college kid from Tosa. And he’s doing a project this summer. No, he’s not painting the house or fixing a car. He’s creating a musical.

 

That’s right. I said a musical. And to do it, he’s writing and recording one song a day for 40 days. He wants you to come along on this tuneful journey. Bookmark his website and get a front row seat to this local creation. You can comment or maybe even give him some ideas. I’m in…are you?

 

OK, full disclosure. I know this kid really well. I still think it’s worth checking in on his progress. It could be fun…..

They call this time of year March Madness, and that, I love. If you give me a choice, I will always choose college basketball over the NBA.

 

In college, every game, give or take a cupcake or two, means something. The players play from the tip-off to the final buzzer, leaving it all out on the court.

 

In the NBA, they start to bring their A-game, oh in about April, so you still have some time to rest up for the playoffs. (Oh wait. There won’t be any playoffs here in Milwaukee. More about that later.) A typical SportsCenter highlight of an NBA game consists of nine guys standing around, while one guy shoots a three-pointer…uncontested. Yawn.

 

One final thought on the NBA here in Milwaukee. Is anyone else as bewildered as I am that the Bucks continue to run their print ads in the sports section with the tagline: The Milwaukee Bucks – Where Amazing Happens? Right. Amazing as in “it’s amazing that the general manager didn’t get fired until this past week.”

 

Anyway, like so many others, I have filled out my NCAA brackets. I expect to be soundly beaten by far more savvy college basketball experts and probably somebody’s 10- year old daughter who chose winners based on uniforms. Nevertheless, I find it endlessly entertaining.

 

Along with March Madness, we are also having one of the earliest Easter Sundays in many, many years….and it’s snowing…a lot. Gone are those dreams of taking walks in new spring apparel while we happily gaze at the blooming daffodils. Not gonna happen this year. That, my friends, is the true March Madness.

 

For many years, my family and I have had a tradition of playing the soundtrack to Jesus Christ Superstar in our car pre-Easter. I guess because it’s the perfect soundtrack to the season. I vividly remember buying this album in grade school and being very worried that the nuns would confiscate it and send us to confession. They actually liked it…and to this day, so do I. It never fails to impress me with its brilliance and beauty.

 

And so, on that note, I leave you, my readers, with an Easter egg of my own. (Not to be confused with a hidden bonus feature on a DVD.) If you click on this link, you’ll hear one of the gifts that my kids gave our family this past Christmas. It’s a recording of “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” from Jesus Christ Superstar. (I know – shameless offspring promotion.) This just seems like the right time to share this. My daughter, Maria, on lead vocals, my son, Dan, on harmony and guitar. (They're going to kill me. Oh well.)

 

Enjoy and Happy Easter!

  

Once in a while, I encounter a few things that remind me why I love Tosa. Sometimes it’s something small, sometimes funny, sometimes a little sad. Here are a few:

 

Can there be a more fun bakery experience than Cranky Al’s? If I have overnight guests or need to entertain with breakfast or brunch food, Cranky’s is a sure bet. I stopped in over the weekend and there was Al, greeting every guest. “Whaddya want?!” he playfully teased. I walked out with a giant box of donuts and a big smile – a bargain, if you ask me.

 

My average morning starts out with coffee. Lots of coffee. It also starts out with a trip outside so that Millie the wonder dog can “do her business.” Today, as I stood outside in the warm air under a dark sky littered with stars, I heard an unusual noise. It’s very quiet in the pre-dawn hours so I quickly looked around to find the source. There, galloping across my yard, were two deer. It was really cool. Oh and Millie never noticed.

 

Are there enough ways to express the community sadness over the future loss of Drew’s Variety Store? I loved the store, but I also love how the community is embracing this icon of days gone by and lamenting its loss. I guess it’s too late to save the store, but perhaps it’s not too late to save the feeling and know that we need more of it here in Tosa.

 

Sure, it’s a little more expensive than it used to be and yes, some of the sandwiches are decidedly swanky, but John Sandwich Shop is to Tosa restaurants what Drew’s is/was to Tosa retail. A gem - an adorable and quirky little place where you can watch the world go by and greet neighbors and friends. We’d be wise to keep it busy.

 

My kids have friends from many other communities throughout Milwaukee – Bay View, Brookfield, Waukesha, Menomonee Falls, just to name a few. Without a doubt, the village of Tosa is hands-down the favorite hang-out for teens. (And don’t let that scare you folks – I promise these are nice kids.) Sure, they could go to Mayfair, but when given a choice, these kids would much rather walk down to the village and grab a bite at Noodles or Pizzeria Piccola or walk through Hart Park discussing life. I feel really fortunate for this.

 

Treasures abound in Tosa. Little places or small experiences. What makes you love Tosa?

 

Dear Drew’s:

Say it ain’t so! I heard the news today – oh boy. I can’t tell you how sad I am to hear that you’ll be closing your doors in January. And it’s not just me. When I drove carpool this morning, my daughter and her friend mourned the future loss of one of their favorite local retailers. Yes, that’s right – even teens adore you. We parents can’t get that kind of love.

 

Was it because I haven’t been in recently? I meant to, but we haven’t needed poster board or yarn or buttons or strange kitchen gadgets in the last couple of months. But if I did, I would have been there in a flash, happily wandering your aisles.

 

The thing is, what I loved about you is that you were always there – when I needed you and sometimes when I didn’t. Your kitchiness and eclectic mix of homespun and hard-to-find were exactly what we needed in a town where big box retailers are slowly taking over.

 

It must not have been fun for you these past few months with village streets and various construction projects taking their toll on your bottom line. We appreciate your steadfastness through it all.

 

I’m guessing that you didn’t come to this decision easily, but if there’s still room to reconsider, please do. As someone said so aptly in the Tosa Town Square, you are part of the fabric of Wauwatosa. With you gone, there’s a big hole in our village and in our hearts.

 

If it’s a done deal, then I guess all there is left to say is thank you. Thanks for being there for parents, kids and all Tosans. We will never forget you.

 

Your customer,

 

Karen

 

 

Millie (see above) and I took a walk on this splendid, picture-perfect, day. She had a lot on her mind. Here are some things that she was wondering:

 

Millie wonders why some dogs walk their owners versus the other way around. How can that be fun with all the pulling and choking going on?

 

Millie wonders why the bike path/walking path for Menomonee River Parkway begins at the Harmonee Bridge and ends prior to Swan Boulevard. Did they think that people would be too tired to continue?

 

Millie wonders why some people bike, run or walk on the left side of the path.

 

Millie wonders why parking is allowed on both sides of the parkway when soccer games are being played. It seems so dangerous with so many kids running in between cars and across the road and people getting in their cars with little regard for traffic.

 

Millie wonders why I wouldn’t let her consume the old breadstick that she found on the sidewalk.

 

Millie wonders why drivers in Tosa interpret stop signs as “slow down” signs and roll through intersections.

 

Millie wonders if the street repairs at the corner of Milwaukee Avenue and Wauwatosa Avenue will ever be finished.

 

Millie wonders why the Root Commons Park (area in front of Drews) is called the Root Commons Park.

 

Millie wonders if any Tosa mayoral candidates have a chance against joeythelovesponge.

 

Millie wonders if we realize how lucky we are to have Ray’s here in Tosa with its amazing wine selection and knowledgeable staff.

 

Millie wonders if that store near 92^nd and North is really called Wallpaper Wallpaper.

 

Millie wonders if the Times Cinema will ever invest in slightly more comfortable seating to match the great films and great ownership.

 

Millie wonders if The Firefly will ever expand its menu and if it will ever be open for lunch.

 

Millie wonders if and when the new recycling program will start in Tosa and if many of us will get stuck with extra blue bags when it does.

 

Millie wonders why we all can’t just have trick or treat on Halloween (a.k.a. October 31st) from now on.

 

Millie wonders whether your pet is wondering anything about Wauwatosa.....? 

 

I almost ignored it. I walked by a television around noon on Monday, saw the “Breaking News” crawl at the bottom of the screen and something about a shooting. I tend to ignore the words “Breaking News” because every single day, there is breaking news. When hog futures are announced, it’s “Breaking News.” When the paternity of Anna Nicole’s daughter was announced, it was “Breaking News.” But on Monday, I asked someone what happened and they told me about the horrendous shootings at Virginia Tech. Then the anchor on TV told us it was the worst shooting in U.S. history. Unfortunately, this really was “Breaking News.”

As a parent, this was all too real. I have a son at college and when I thought about his campus and the possibility of this horror happening there, I shuddered. There but for the grace of God go my son and every other college student. Why Virginia Tech? Why Monday? Why carry out such hatred, such evil and cause such gut-wrenching pain for so many? There will never be enough answers for anyone – the victims, their families, the other students at Virginia Tech. Much like Columbine, there will be plenty of finger-pointing and blame to go around. Could something have prevented that young man from exacting revenge on that day on so many? We may never know.

Today, I was driving by Mount Mary College, the Catholic all-women’s college nestled on the edge of Wauwatosa. To an outsider, it seems like a sheltered haven—a private college catering to those who prefer higher education in a smaller setting. I saw one of the college’s security cars drive by. I looked at the car and then glanced at the wide-open campus and wondered how that school, or any school could ever begin to prevent such violence.

My son goes to school in sleepy little Muncie, Indiana. He’s surrounded by cornfields and dairy farms and strip malls. Like many colleges, it’s an idyllic setting for co-eds to stroll across campus, go to and from classes and enjoy their independence. But from the looks of it on television, Virginia Tech seemed like a pretty nice place too. As does UWM and Marquette and Carroll College and Alverno and the many schools where we Tosans send our sons and daughters.

I’ve always been a bit of a chronic worrier. When I was a working mom, I would pause every time an emergency vehicle would drive by my office. I’d watch to see whether it drove in the direction of my kids’ day care center or school. If it did, I’d say a silent prayer. When my son drives to and from college, I don’t breathe a sigh of relief until he’s home or in his dorm room. It may seem over-the-top, but I’ve never stopped worrying about my kids since I gave birth to them.

As much as we try to protect our kids, there is no bubble big enough to keep them safe from the danger that festers in the mind of someone so lonely, disturbed and vengeful that he would continue killing until he took his own life too. We could bring our kids home and forbid them from leaving the house, but that’s neither likely nor wise. We all know that we have to let go of them and hope for the best. After Monday, that seems a little bit more difficult than before.

OK, now I’m mad. Today I read in the newspaper that Running Rebels Community Organization, Urban Underground and Campaign Against Violence were out at Mayfair on Saturday protesting the new PGR (Parental Guidance Required) policy. They were apparently standing on Mayfair Road and Center Street with protest signs, chanting things like: "Out of sight, out of mind. Being young is not a crime."

That’s not what made me mad. I believe in the right to peacefully protest whatever you want. And based on the discussions that I’ve had with my 15-year old the last two days, she’d be right there with them chanting the loudest. She is definitely NOT a fan of the PGR policy and has repeatedly reminded me how incredibly “unfair” it is.

What made me really angry was the statement made by Bobby Drake, the spokesperson for Campaign Against Violence, one of the protesting groups. Here’s what he said: "If you kick 1,000 to 1,500 kids out of the mall and put them back in the inner city in the middle of the summer, you're putting all these young men and women who weren't getting into trouble back into the street," Drake said. "We fear that it's going to drive up a problem."

OK, so the mall should take the “problem” (Drake’s words, not mine) and let it roam freely?

Somebody tell me when it became Mayfair Mall’s job to take care of these kids and give them a place to hang out. Mayfair is a private property, right? Don’t they have the constitutional right to set their own policies as long as they don’t discriminate? My understanding is that the new policy targets underage kids. Drew’s Variety Store has a policy stating that no more than two students at a time can be in their store after school. Why aren’t Urban Underground, Running Rebels and Campaign Against Violence standing outside Drew’s and carrying picket signs?

I don’t deny groups and under-18ers the right to dislike the PGR policy. As I said, I have my own little protest going on in my house. But the point here is that the Mall is a private business whose business is to sell merchandise. The young kids (including my own) do not have the right to roam freely without their parents after 2pm on Fridays and Saturdays. That’s two days out of seven. The rest of the week is wide open. On Sunday through Thursday, kids can “hang out” to their heart’s content. Or, they can let their closed wallets do the talking and decide to take their business elsewhere.

I agree that Milwaukee has a growing problem with violence in the city and my hope is that these groups make some headway in addressing these issues. But if their intention is to turn Mayfair into a Boys and Girls Club, an afterschool program or a solution to those problems, I think they've gone to the wrong place.

Well, they did it. Mayfair Mall management got tough. Today they released their PGR (Parental Guidance Required) Policy, and I have to say, it’s gonna bum out a bunch of teens, including the 15-year old that lives in my house. Gone are the days when we can get our teens out of our hair by dumping them off at the mall.

Basically, the policy states that after 2 pm on Fridays and Saturdays, anyone under 18 years of age must be accompanied by an adult who is at least 21 years old. And each adult can only escort up to four under-18ers. However, mothers who are not yet 21 will be allowed in the mall with young children. (That part still confuses me, but I’m going to assume the mall knows what it’s doing.)

As I mentioned, this will certainly affect my family – specifically my daughter. She and her friends did enjoy hanging out at the mall, especially on Fridays off of school or weekends. She’ll no longer have the luxury of cruising through Forever 21 or American Eagle without me hanging next to her. It’s that last part that is the most torturous in her mind. What could be worse than not be able to go to the mall with your friends? Having to go to the mall with your mother – ugh!

We’ll no longer have the option of dropping my daughter and her friends at the mall on a Friday or Saturday afternoon for something to do. Still, that’s just an issue of convenience, not hardship.

But that’s too bad. It’s the way it is. The few, who were starting to cause lots of trouble, have ruined it for the many. From the looks of the early comments in the Tosa Town Square or on the Journal/Sentinel website (other than the few close-minded and racist comments), people seem supportive. I encourage everyone to take a wait-and-see attitude and give it time to work.

A couple of months ago, this story was posted on Crocker Stephenson's jsonline blog about Tim Krahling, the young man with spina bifida. I was proud to share the story of our oldest son, Andrew, and his unique situation which seemed to have many similarities with Tim's story.

Today, I'm sad to report, Andrew died Wednesday after a brief battle with pneumonia. My husband, daughter and I were with him in his final moments. Just as much as Andrew fought his way into this world, he also fought his way out of it. Andrew's life has been a long journey that has taken us to so many unlikely places. Because of his many medical complications, Andrew never lived with us in Wauwatosa, but needless to say, he was always here in our hearts.

Andrew, you've touched so many people in your quiet way. Watch over us, buddy.

On November 18th, 1986, I gave birth to our first son, Andrew, via "crash" c-section. My husband and I had rushed to the hospital because my water had broken and we knew that something was wrong. When we arrived, the doctor on call hooked me up to a fetal monitor, gazed at it with a deep look of concern and then put her hand on my leg and said: "I'm sorry, but there's no heartbeat." Seconds later, she saw what she called an "agonal" heartbeat and I was rushed into an operating room where Andrew was delivered. For eight minutes, he did not breathe. Then, he barely began to respond. They hooked him up to a ventilator and put him into the neonatal intensive care unit.

As the day wore on and my anesthesia wore off, we found out that despite my unremarkable full-term pregnancy, I had something called vasa previa which essentially meant that part of the umbilical cord had branched off separately. Often, women will have vasa previa and it won't be discovered until after they have a healthy delivery. In our case, it was different and oh, so wrong. My water broke at the exact point where the separate part of the umbilical cord had formed. Since it was a weaker part of the cord, it sheared and Andrew lost blood and therefore oxygen. The doctors assured us that there was no way to have known that would happen. We, and Andrew, were just unlucky victims of the odds.

Andrew stayed in the NICU unit where a battery of tests was run. Neuro specialists were consulted and within a day or two they told us that Andrew had virtually no brain activity. They and all of the medical experts felt that leaving him on the ventilator was to keep him alive by extraordinary means. And so, we made the gut-wrenching decision to have life support removed from our newborn son. First, we asked a Catholic priest to baptize him. The medical staff then asked if we wanted to be there when they removed the ventilator, but I couldn't do it. The idea of watching my son die was simply beyond unbearable. And so we returned to my room and waited. And in a cruel twist of fate, Andrew started to breathe on his own. He was sustaining his own life without a ventilator. We suddenly found ourselves caught in the parental hell that is grieving over the fundamental loss of a baby while wondering why God was keeping his body alive.

As the days and weeks passed by, we started to adjust to the idea of parenting a developmentally disabled child. However, his disabilities were so severe; they were beyond that which we could handle in our own home. We spoke to social workers and staff who unanimously advised us that bringing Andrew home would rip our marriage and our future family apart because he would require around-the-clock medical care. He was likely blind and deaf, would never walk or talk, could not feed from a bottle or ever swallow food and his cognitive age would always hover around 1-1/2 months. He would never be able to recognize or acknowledge us. Essentially, he was and always would be in a vegetative state.

We were in such a fragile state of confusion about what to do next for our child who was essentially living in the shell of a body. At one point, we petitioned the hospital ethics board to ask what, besides removal of the ventilator, were considered "extraordinary means." It was an agonizing path for parents to take but we did not want Andrew to suffer needlessly if his time with us was limited. The board basically said that all current measures should continue. We were comfortable with their advisement. Next we faced the decision of how to care for Andrew for the rest of his life.

We found out that our options were to find a foster family specially trained in caring for developmentally disabled individuals, or apply for a placement at a state-run center about an hour from our home. We chose the latter, feeling that they would be better equipped and trained for his care. That would also allow us visit him in comfort and convenience and give him access to the very best therapies and medical care available without having to leave his surroundings. Administrators from the center

This afternoon, I took my life in my hands and went to a movie…at Mayfair Mall…alone. I am writing to tell you that all went well and I am safe and snug back in my own home. Not once during this outing did I feel frightened, threatened or nervous about being at Mayfair by myself. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but really, I was just fine.

I can’t help but note the irony in the fact that the movie that I saw today was The Queen, starring Helen Mirren. In the film, Queen Elizabeth seems bewildered by the swirl of attention in the days after the tragic death of Princess Diana. Maybe it’s just me, but I could see a parallel between the people in Britain pointing their anger over Diana’s untimely death at the queen and Wauwatosa residents wanting to blame Mayor Estness for the recent problems at Mayfair Mall. In both cases, citizens want to hear from their leader, even if it is just a statement acknowledging their concern.

For her part, Mayor Estness has said that the proposed policy change over at Mayfair was “another tool” for addressing behavioral problems and that she’ll have to see what the policy looks like when it is unveiled. I guess we’ll all have to adapt that wait and see attitude.

In the meantime, I would think that the most effective course of action would be to address our comments, concerns, anger, frustration and fear toward Mayfair Mall Management rather than the mayor. Some have chosen to use the Tosa Town Square here on www.wauwatosaNOW.com as the place to talk about this. There are some spirited discussions happening in the “Sound Off” forum.

But is Mayfair really listening? I, for one have e-mailed the mall twice through their website and have not heard back from them. They claim that the new policies have nothing to do with the recent events at the mall. If that’s true, and the new policy is a result of other incidents, then the question is: What took so long?

I suggest that if you’re concerned about Mayfair that you send a message, literally, to Stephen Smith, the mall’s general manager. His e-mail address is: stephen.smith@ggp.com. Maybe that will get his attention.
Oh, and by the way, the movie was great.

So, have you put that new bumper sticker on your car? The one that says: “I’m Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.” No? Well, neither have I. Although I am proud of this honor, it seems to lose its impact when I know that we’re ALL Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. But I did read through the issue, or perhaps browsed through it would be more correct. The one thing I did learn was that YouTube had a huge effect on our world this year. Of course, it had a huge effect on the bank accounts of the three unassuming fellows that founded this website that features videos by regular people like you and me. Or should I say, other People of the Year.

And so this got me thinking: I wonder what YouTube offers the people of Wauwatosa? Well, you might be surprised to know that there are 19 videos produced for and by Tosa residents. Some are videotaped performances from Tosa East and West. One enterprising individual made a 6-minute video of a home for sale. (No word on whether it was successful.) There are two videos that give you a behind the scenes look at, well, the life of a teenager. Compelling? Not really, but probably fun for them to watch. Then there’s the video titled: “We got fired from DQ” in which two recently terminated Tosa DQ employees drive past the restaurant and rant about their lack of money and their former employer. (Parental advisory on this one. These kids are upset and don’t hold back on their language.)

One of the truly interesting things you’ll find in a search of Tosa YouTube videos is a 3-part video which shows the Menomonee River Flood of 1997. I think most of us remember this unbelievable event and yet I have always had a hard time adequately describing it to others. This video does a good job showing several areas of Tosa under flood waters. It’s definitely worth a look, unlike a lot of other things on YouTube.

I have to admit that my first reaction to the news that there was a "melee" at Mayfair Mall (after pausing in appreciation for the alliteration) was to ban my daughter from weekend movies. It must be bad, right, if it involved 250 people, pepper spray and stun guns? And I won't deny that it scares me, because as you know, I love my Mayfair Mall but the idea of staying away is just not an option for me. But what's the solution? Banning teens from Mayfair? Um, I don't think so.

Tosa city officials are already doing damage control, calling it a "one-time incident." We know that's not really true. Problems have occurred in the past, both large and small. Mayfair is probably the most popular mall in Milwaukee County, at least until Bayshore is up and running. And to quote my favorite movie, "If you build it, they will come." They being teens and it being a mall. Mayfair simply would not continue to thrive without the teens and their discretionary income.

So then what's the answer? How do we prevent our local theater and shopping center from being turned into a black hole of adolescent delinquency? Should the theater stagger movie showings when there are multiple films aimed at the teen demographic? Should there be a no-tolerance policy on loitering in the mall? Should mall security be stepped up to include constant police presence? I honestly don't have an answer, but let's start talking about it. What are your ideas? Let's begin a discussion before we have another incident and things get out of hand.

I know one thing-our neighborhoods have done a great job of taking back their streets. There's evidence that block watches and involved neighbors are effective barriers to crime. So perhaps we should consider Mayfair a neighborhood and make the tenants (the stores) part of the solution. I realize that they don't sleep there at night, but isn't their livelihood dependent upon whether the mall, the entire mall, is successful and safe? What do the mall, the stores, and the theater, think and what are they willing to do to make sure this doesn't happen again?

If you have thoughts on this topic, e-mail me at westsidestoriestosa@yahoo.com . I'd be happy to pass your comments on to city, police and mall officials.

At the risk of being disliked by most of the teens in Wauwatosa and not just the teens in my own house, I’d like to go on record as saying that I disagree with letting kids use iPods or other MP3 players in school. 

An article in today's Journal Sentinel talks about the Arrowhead school district restricting the use of personal music players on school property. The article goes on to interview Tosa East principal Nick Hughes and several Tosa East students about the policy at Wauwatosa East, which, in my opinion is a cop-out.

The article states that: “Students at Wauwatosa East High School used to not be allowed to roam the halls with their iPods in tow. But after a lengthy staff debate this year, Principal Nick Hughes said the school officials decided to allow students to listen to their music in the school's common areas and in classrooms, if a teacher approves.”

Principal Hughes explained: "It was a daily battle last year to remind kids between periods to put their headphones away, to put their iPods away. I equated it to like a test day at a Best Buy."

Look, I’m not anti-iPod. I own one. In fact, there are three in our household and I purchased all of them. They’re an amazing mixture of technology and art. But what bothers me is that they provide our kids with another way to tune out their environment and disengage themselves from others. In today’s culture of senseless school violence, why are we giving kids more ways to disconnect from each other and isolate themselves? Is it just because it’s easier that way? Is it that painful to walk down the hall or sit through lunch without the sound of The Killers or Justin Timberlake pounding in their ears?

I have no doubt that Principal Hughes and the teachers and administrators at Tosa East have a Herculean job. Being the caretakers of a great high school must be daunting, even on a good day. But I’d rather hear about them building bridges between students, instead of solitary cocoons with earbuds.

If you haven’t dined out recently, you may not have noticed that it’s Homecoming Season. Yes, it’s that time of year when you can enjoy your dinner in jeans while the patrons at the table next to you are wearing formal gowns and suits. Last night, at Maggiano’s Restaurant at Mayfair, my family and I had front row seats for this seasonal spectacle. What a sight it was and how different from my high school days.

First, I was pleased to see a group of girls in lovely dresses dining sans dates. I wanted to run up to them and shout: “You go, girls!” How refreshing to see that these young women didn’t need a date to enjoy the dance. As someone who went to an all-girls’ high school and only went to one dance, I found this change to be welcome and long overdue.

Then, there was the traditional table of three couples who hadn’t been clued into the “boy-girl-boy-girl” seating tradition. The girls stuck together and giggled as the boys valiantly attempted conversation while garters cut off the circulation in their arms.

Finally, there was a very unique table of three girls, one boy and a dad. At least I’m pretty sure he was a dad. He had a well-groomed goatee, his suit fit better than the boy’s did, he looked a bit old for high school and I’m pretty sure that his credit card had his name on it. Somewhat surprisingly, the kids seemed OK with him being at the table, rather than awkwardly embarrassed at having to “hang” with a parent.

It’s fun to watch these groups as they embark on their special evenings, but I can’t help but shake my head at the “over-the-top” nature of it all. The dresses that the girls were wearing were spectacular, as were their jewelry and hairstyles. It was hard not to make a mental tabulation of the cost of such an evening. Don’t get me wrong, I love special occasions and, as you know, I do love my shopping. But I wonder how difficult it will be to top these events as these kids become adults. Will their weddings be a letdown and is the Homecoming dance a breeding ground for future “Bridezillas”?

My son’s high school had a tradition for their winter dance. The boys would take the money that would be used for tux rental and donate it to a charity. I loved that idea. Why not have the dance, but scale back on the pomp and circumstance and give back a little at the same time? In our culture of more and better, it’s unlikely to be the next big thing, but it’s worth considering. Of course, I'll probably be first in line with my daughter to buy that spectacular dress when her turn comes around. And you are welcome to remind me to eat my words.

I’m not usually one to give out parenting advice. I might complain about other parents or their children once in a while, but I’m far from a perfect parent. I love my kids and think they’re incredible, but I’m certain I could have done a lot of things better through the years.

When my younger son, who is now almost 19, was a toddler, I was really pretty challenged by motherhood. I was working full-time and felt like everything was spinning wildly out of control. As kids do, he quickly figured this out and learned to push my buttons and get to me. In fact, he pushed so many of my buttons, I felt like an elevator. He was a typical toddler, but I was growing weary of the whining and the poor behavior.

Around that time, I was talking to my sister-in-law about this and sharing my tales of mothering woe. Shortly afterwards, she sent my husband and I a gift. Maybe it wasn’t so much a gift as it was a not-so-subtle hint. She sent us a book and some audiotapes called “Parenting Through Love & Logic” from the Cline-Fay Institute. Skeptic that I was, I wondered what kind of parenting voodoo this would be. Still, desperate for a change, my husband and I started reading the book and listening to the tapes. I have to tell you, it made a difference...pretty quickly. Our son, who whined about everything, was suddenly disarmed of this tactic. He would come crying to us about something small and we would give the suggested Love & Logic response: “That must be a really big problem for you.” All of a sudden, he was speechless, and blessedly quiet.

We never really finished reading or listening to the entire program, which I regret to this day. I guess, like every diet I’ve been on (“Oh, I lost 10 pounds! I’m done – now I can eat again!”) we were so thrilled with the results that we thought we’d figured it all out. Turns out there was a lot more to learn.

Why am I sharing this story with you? Because I noticed in the City of Wauwatosa Newsletter that beginning September 6th, The Parenting Network will offer a 7-week Love & Logic Training for parents. I guess this is my testimonial. This stuff is good and if you’re in the throes of young parenting and looking for some guidance, I suggest you give this a try. It’s not too late for you!

To register, contact Tom Weber at The Parenting Network – 414-671-5575 Ext. 14.

So apparently there was a memo sent out to all parents recently and it read something like this: “It is now time to BUY ALL OF YOUR SCHOOL SUPPLIES IMMEDIATELY!” People, it is not even August 1st. No schools are open yet. The floors have not yet been buffed. The chairs and desks are still piled high in the hallways. There won’t be anybody barfing in the nurse’s office for at least a month, but here in Wauwatosa, school supply shopping has become the official summer pastime.

That’s all well and good. I’m all for getting a jump on things. I’m notoriously early for virtually everything, but there’s nothing to put a damper on summer fun faster than a trip to Target to buy school supplies.

The problem with this annual buying frenzy is the complete lack of school supply buying etiquette. First of all, they should give us skinny carts or a personal Sherpa. They don’t. The carts are large and the aisles aren’t. Then, they should collect all cell phones and children before you are allowed to enter the school supply zone. Because, to use an educational analogy: Mom + supply list + children (multiply by 2 if they are toddlers) + cell phone + cart = complete and utter chaos.

This year our job was easier. It’s my daughter’s first year of high school and Crayola Fine Tip Bold Colors 24 pack Markers are not on our list. (Thank God!) Her requirements are simple and somewhat open-ended. Nevertheless, we ventured to Target knowing that if we waited 3 weeks, everything left over would look lame, which, in the mind of a teenager is tantamount to social suicide.

So back to these manners-lacking moms. Look, we all expect crowds and a bit of bumping into each other and perhaps a few items that are out of stock. No biggie. But it doesn’t help matters when parents' carts are parked diagonally blocking everyone, their kids are wandering aimlessly and whining and they are on the cell phone gossiping with their girlfriends. Seriously!

I truly wish that mass merchants would employ School Supply *** whose sole purpose is to yell at the slow-thinkers, the picky-choosers and those not truly committed to the task at hand. “C’MON PEOPLE, MOVE IT! LADY, PICK A RULER, YOUR KID DOESN’T CARE WHAT COLOR IT IS. SIR, YOUR CHILD IS ALREADY EATING THE ERASERS, PLEASE LEAVE THE AREA. YOUNG LADY, YOUR BOYFRIEND WON’T BE LOOKING AT YOUR NOTEBOOKS – TRUST ME!”

I know, I’m preaching to the choir here. You people are all well-behaved, make your decisions quickly and don’t take along kids that do not want to be there, right? If not, allow me to introduce you to a wonderful new concept: Buying Online. Yes, you can talk on the phone, coddle your children, consider your choices and dawdle to your heart’s content. Brilliant, isn’t it?

What do you think about school supply shopping? Are you glad that it starts so early or do you wish we could wait longer? E-mail me about this or any other topic at westsidestoriestosa@yahoo.com .