I consider myself a reasonable person, able to get along with mostly everyone. I do not believe we are all meant to be BFF’s, but we are at least to make enough of an effort to be polite. I
do believe you have the right to choose whomever you want in your
“circle” of friends network and that by your choice your true
personality will shine, (or dull).
I hate to admit this, but I believe certain individuals are a-holes. This applies towards both men and women. I could throw in the “B” word, but I am trying to be most effective with the former offense.
I have to state, that from here on out, if you are an a-hole, it is not due to the color of your skin. It has to do with the fact that you are probably rude, mean or treat others as less than. Let me give you a few examples. You are out to dinner. You
hear a guy talking loudly, possibly drunk and raise his voice to
express his distaste of anything within your immediate vicinity. Worse
yet, although the food may not have been to his liking, he makes it
known to the waiter and the entire restaurant how awful everything was. He is an a-hole.
How about the gal who walks past you with her nose in the air? Even if a helpless bird were in her path, she would walk over it. She has no time, of course, because she is getting her hair and nails done. She believes she is thinner, prettier and has a better car/house/cell phone than you. She is an a-hole too.
How about the guy who refuses to help his Grandma cross the street? He talks about women as if they are less than. In fact, anyone who makes less money than him is not worthy of his time. You hear about his cars and homes, iPhone and clothing. He only wants a 26-24-26 and anything more is hideous. He brags about his 50” chest and his lifting ability. He pays for dinner, but expects dessert in return.
I have been accused of disliking certain individuals because of their skin color. Let me make it clear. I have friends of all shapes, sizes and colors. In order for me to form a friendship I have to be able to trust. I want us to laugh, have fun, and generally be there for each other through our times of struggles. We have all had run-ins with people outside of our own race but reacting negatively does not necessarily constitute racism.
Instead of the perp admitting he or she may be a jerk, it’s always someone else’s fault. They state, “That woman doesn’t like me because I am African American, Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian”, and the list goes on and on. God
forbid someone actually becomes offended by you just because you
recently held up a convenience store or beat the crap out of an
innocent man/woman/child on the bus.
A-hole is not a color. It has nothing to do with race. It has to do with the fact that you are probably mean. Birds of a feather, so they say. You probably don’t recognize the signs. Others
are used to and tolerate you, but there will come a day when you notice
that you receive less calls and also fewer invitations.
I am willing to go above and beyond. I would love to see if you can recognize yourself among the other a-holes. A few signs are: you are more negative than positive; it is always someone elses fault. You are invited out to drink because you always buy rounds. You have an expensive boat; your friends climb aboard and call you “Captain”. Every conversation revolves around you. The only time you express your feelings is when you are inebriated. You insist that you are always correct yet turn and walk away if someone rebuts you. You call women and men degrading names without knowing them personally. You expect women to put out because you opened your wallet. You cut people off and can’t drive (less than) 55 in a 35. You cheat on your partner or spouse. You are dishonest and cannot remember the last time you told the truth.
To be honest, I feel so sorry for you. Chances are, you are more alone than not. You can find a date, but temporarily. Your friends are not available if you need help moving. The closest thing to you in bed upon waking is a cat or a body pillow. You call your family and they also have very little time for you. Or, if they do it is because they are just like you.
I have good news, there is hope! The first step is to admit that you are an a-hole and commit yourself to change. Hang out with your Grandma or visit a nursing home. Volunteer at Big Brothers/Big Sisters and become a mentor. Join a church and find a singles group. Read the words of Mother Theresa or the Dali Llama. It is possible over time and with a lot of work that you too can un-a-hole yourself. The most important thing to remember is that one day, you too will need someone. You will experience hardship and may need to ask for help. If you have treated others bad, chances are, the answer from them may be yes, but hesitantly. They are the ones who will eventually write your obituary and unless you begin to change, yours will be short and sweet. “Our Dear Son A-Hole went to see his Savior this past Saturday. Amen.”
And that, my friend, is not what you want to leave as your legacy.
