As I write this post I am looking across the top of my desk at a box. 

The box is approximately the length of the desk but annoyingly taller than the desk's surface.  It is almost a foot and a half deep and even though it is jammed-up tight against the desk it crowds the doorway.

Comfortably ensconced in its factory packaging the occupant of the box is what I have christened - The Giant Conundrum.

Every time I sit at the desk I ponder the conundrum. 

You cannot help but ponder it as it is so obviously huge and in your face.

Periodically I curse the conundrum.  Like I said - it blocks the doorway and I can no longer pass freely with briefcase and gym bag in the morning.

Every so often my wife metaphysically wrestles with the conundrum as if manipulating a massive virtual Rubik's Cube.  With her tape measure in-hand she takes valuable time out of her day in a valiant attempt to cypher a home for it.  She finds no solution to the puzzle.  The conundrum remains in the box. 

It's just too damn big.  

Sometimes I chuckle over my peculiar good fortune.  Of all the possible places it might have ended-up the conundrum has come to reside in our house.

You're thinking - What the heck is he talking about and why is it a conundrum?  

Well, by definition a conundrum is: A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; in short - a dilemma.

And I have a dilemma on my hands.  A problem of sorts.

You see, inside the box is a 42 inch plasma television.  I won it in a raffle at a recent charity fundraiser.  My investment was $100 worth of raffle tickets.

You might say - That's a helluva conundrum, Tom.

Yeah, but consider this, I wouldn't go out of my way to purchase one of these suckers.

My wife and I might just be that last surviving souls in Wauwatosa to not be cable or satellite television subscribers.  Don't forget, I'm the only guy who hasn't a clue from one year to the next who the American Idol is.  I admit it.  I am a cultural lowbrow. 

We've downsized our living space.  Our modest Tosa bungalow doesn't have a wall sufficiently large enough to accommodate the conundrum. 

There might just be one particular location we could possibly install this monolith of Korean electronics and only partially block one window - but then we would be sitting so close to it I wonder if we might not blind ourselves or grow wrinkled and leathery while basking in the warm glow of its radiation. 

We thought about moving it to the house up north.  Nope, too many windows and too little unbroken wall space.  Imagine favoring sunlight over giant television space - what a glaring engineering faux pas.

Someone suggested expanding the unfinished bungalow attic into a master suite complete with a whirlpool bath or maybe finishing the basement of the up-north house with a vast man cave complete with bar and slate-topped pool table - either of which would accommodate a surround sound system easily adapted to the conundrum.  These are all terrific ideas but my all-knowing wife gives me the all-knowing look.

So, for the present, the conundrum will continue to remain under wraps (and our electric bill will remain affordable) while we consider its options for the future.

The conundrum really belongs in a home theater.  Or does it?

Maybe I could put it in the machine shed up north?

It's a cavernous space.  

Hundreds upon hundreds of square yards of unfinished walls.  Metal walls too - outstanding acoustics.  It's filled with all manner of guy junk - a bunch of tractors, fishing boat, a couple of bush hogs, disc/harrow, pick-up truck, scraper blade, compressor, beer fridge, radial arm saw, 3-D deer target, microwave, giant chemical mix tank, four wheeler, patio table (with Labatt Blue Beer umbrella), deer hoist, a well-ordered collection of tools, canoe, sprayers, lawn mowers, a flock of goose decoys, various hazardous chemicals, boom boxes, giant jugs of hydraulic fluid, gear and motor oil, loader with bucket, Jerry cans of diesel and gasoline, chain saws and dead spiders. 

What it doesn't have is a plasma television.

At least yet.

Yeah. I'll bet you're thinking someone swiped my Obama yard sign.  

Nope. 

Unrepentant capitalist - no Barack sign for me.

Okey-dokey. Maybe my McCain yard sign?

Nope. 

The choice of VP has left me exceedingly disappointed.  My friends, all of this recent lurching-about not only troubles me; it causes me to wonder who's in-charge anymore.

Alright - the Joeythelovesponge for Mayor sign?

I wouldn't dream of putting it out.  No way would I risk it getting appropriated by the Bidenites or the Palinistas.  It's already a pricey collectible - probably worth more on Ebay than my entire stock portfolio.

Call me hard to please but there will be no yard signs this election cycle.

I digress.

I want to tell you about a different sort of theft.

Something you won't read about in the weekly crime report. 

Prior to retiring on a recent Sunday evening I cleaned the cat box. 

I meticulously double-bagged the stuff and placed the collection of clumped litter and cat marbles on the front porch for deposit in the garbage on Monday morning.

At the crack of dawn on Monday I arose to fetch the newspapers from the porch. 

Looking about, something didn't appear quite right.   My bag of cat droppings was nowhere to be found. 

I look for the missing bag in the yard. 

Nothing.  

My logical wife said - Look beneath the porch, Tom. 

Nope.  Not there either. 

It had vanished. 

Some of you have probably hauled an old cracked porcelain commode, a busted storm door or ratty piece of furniture out to the curb only to have it miraculously vanish by morning.  This happens to me all the time.  I never have to haul my junk to the city dump.

But used cat litter? 

Right off the porch?  

That is bold.

I have two theories. 

The first is a varmint like a raccoon dragged it away.  Better yet - someone's Labrador retriever was the culprit. 

My second guess is that someone saw the carefully knotted plastic grocery bag sitting outside the door and thought there was something valuable inside it. 

Maybe they thought - Hey, someone baked some yummy scones for the nice people that live here and left them outside their door as a house-warming gift. 

With his stomach growling the hooligan tip-toes up on the porch, filches the bag and slips stealthily into the night. 

Drooling, he anticipates his illicit midnight snack. 

He thinks - Hey, these are heavier than scones.  These must be bran muffins.  Big ones, too.

Critter or person - I hope they enjoyed it.

Blech.

Tom

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Post Script -

It has occurred to me that you have not met the cat.  

She recently celebrated her twentieth birthday. 

I am informed that this is the equivalent of 96 human years.

She is the household's grand dame.

Today is the one-year anniversary of this blogging experiment.

Can you imagine having gas pains for an entire year? 

Blech.

A total of 110 posts, 402 comments and more than 400,000 page views. One post alone has exceeded 24,000 views. 

Not that it means much but at least someone's checking-out this nonsense, eh?

Popular favorites are almost anything that has to do with Hunting/Outdoors, Tosa Trivia or the Mayor.  

I am awe-struck that such a singularly eclectic sampling of subject matter could be so popular.

Tosans must have a taste for the blood sports, the arcane and the random mayor in a black pantsuit.  Go figure.   

If I decide to continue this blog I think I shall endeavor to incorporate all three of these elements into one blog posting. 

Maybe something along these lines:  Which elected Tosa official knows how to field dress a moose?

If the official answers: Yah sure you betcha, I can do that with my eyes closed; then this person can aspire to be one heartbeat away from being leader of the free world.  

If the answer is: Ewww. Gross. That's yucky. Shriek! My nails!  Well, their political career would be done.  Finis.

You'll have to wait to see if I actually do that and what the correct answer is. 

Incidentally, when that other young fella running for leader of the free world world hears moose - do you ever wonder if he thinks this.  Scary, eh?

Damn, we got some good choices this election cycle.  But I digress.

Anyway, I  have a small confession to make.  I thought about hanging-up my keyboard and calling it quits a while back.  For a spell I really felt like packing it in. Maybe it was the brutal winter and post-election doldrums.  Who knows.  Furthermore, who cares.  The feeling passed.  At least for now.  

Lately it seems I have more to talk about.  I honestly believe all of those song birds, flowers and garden therapy had something to do with it. 

So, on one hand this would be a good point to recommit to my pitifully modest, but faithful, collection of readers.  On the other hand this would be as good a point as any to stop.  A natural dead end in the road.  Gas Pains - Kaput!

So - I dunno. 

Should I continue?

Tom

I found this in the mailbag today.

I love the Pack. 

But this nonsense has got to end.

Tom

Here it is.  I admit it.  I know absolutely nothing about The American Idol.

Sometimes I think I am the last person on the planet that hasn't had my cultural pedigree enhanced by this phenomenon.

This is a chronic affliction that first manifested itself at a company Christmas party a number of years ago.  We were engaged in a festive camaraderie of potluck food and and Secret Santa - you know - where everyone has to bring a gift valued below a certain amount and it gets thrown into the bag and the managing partner wears his Santa Hat and redistributes the gifts.

The gift I receive is obviously a festively-wrapped CD.  Peeling-off the wrapping I announce I have a Clay Aiken album.

This is met with a chorus of oohs and ahhs.  What do I do?  I lamely ask - so who is this - a rising country music star?

I am clueless.

I trade the CD for a more valuable gift - a small mag light.  As a result this Aiken guy left a small impression on me.

It gets worse.

I few years ago I have to go to New York on business and because it is on the company tab I stay in a fancy schmaltzy hotel adjacent to Central Park. 

Before I leave I have to go to the front desk to settle a charge and am chagrined to find the space of all three desk clerks occupied by a very humongous man in gangsta clothing - you know - baggy shorts that hang to the ankles, over-sized expensive basketball shoes,  a stiff baseball hat worn backwards and what appeared to be about 400 pounds of jewelry. 

I'm a bit frustrated as I'm in a hurry to catch a cab and not miss my flight home and this guy and his people are taking-up all of the space at the front desk and his people are arguing with the hotel people. 

I stay out of it since I figure it's New York, it's basically weird, it's some sort of important rapper dude and you know me - I don't want any trouble.

The entourage eventually resolves whatever issues they have and moves-on.  I spend all of about a minute taking care of my business with the nice lady behind the counter and turn to my buddy Bob and say - Sheesh, let's grab a cab and split.

Bob replies - Hey, you know who that guy was?

Nope.

That was Ruben Stoddard.

Who the hell is Ruben Stoddard?

You moron, he's the American Idol.

Yes - still clueless. 

So there you have it.  I wouldn't know who the American Idol was if the Idol showed-up on my front porch to serenade me.

I am a cultural lowbrow.

Tom

Did you ever Google yourself?

You know - plugging your name into Google and searching to see what you get.

The American Dialect Society voted Googlegänger as winner of the Most Creative category for 2007 words.

How gratifying to know that this generally nonproductive office pastime now has a name.

So here goes:

If you Google Thomas Gaertner here's what you get.

One of the hits is for this guy.  Go ahead - click on the link - Thomas Gärtner.   

Alright.  Doesn't this guy bear an uncanny similarity to someone else we know?

Is it possible the three of us are related?

Did someone get separated at birth?

Or is this coincidence?

If you have any plausible theories feel free to post them and I'll publish them all in a couple of days.

Tom

I'm told that the price of gasoline might hit $4 a gallon before too long.  Maybe even $7 a gallon.

What about the possibility of $10 a gallon gasoline?

With the prospect of a bazillion people in China and India finally grabbing the middle class brass ring - and purchasing an automobile - demand for oil is going to grow.

And grow.

The law of supply and demand dictates that outrageous gasoline prices are here to stay.

My guess - they'll get worse over time.

I wonder what the future holds for those folks who pulled-out all the stops to leverage the building of those massive McMansions an hour or more from their day jobs?

I'm kinda glad I live in good old Tosa Town.

I can walk to a grocery, church, bank, restaurant or pub.

I'm a short fifteen minutes from anywhere by car.

We've got it pretty good.

We should flaunt it.

Just thought I'd shed some sunshine on your day.

Tom

BTW - We're also in the Great Lakes Basin.  We got the water too.

I have been away.

Upon my return to Tosa I was thrilled to learn that I had received my very own personal copy of campaign muck - Authorized and paid for by Tosans for Responsible Government, Stanley L. Zurawski, Sr. Treasurer - as an unbiased and ostensibly independent supporter of the Didier for Mayor Campaign.

Do I sense that things have gone down-hill lately at Didier High Command? 

Since I posted the first of two Campaign Finance Disclosures I have had a number of folks tell me that as soon as they saw a member of the Zurawski clan supporting candidate Didier for mayor...that was all they needed to know.

They would not consider voting for her - no way - no how.

Zurawski, Sr. is predictable for getting the facts wrong.

Seems most well-adjusted Tosans don't get too worked-up over images of - mall mannequins - or related campaign hyperbole.

For sure there are a few others who will see things differently.

So to a certain extent Ms. Didier will be judged by the company she keeps.

If I was running for mayor I certainly wouldn't want the help of someone who has lost so many mayoral elections.

That would be like inviting the Curse of the Mummy.

We'll know after election day.

Tom

Oh.  Almost forgot.

That piece of literature from Zurawski. Sr. that I was talking about - well it was included with Alderman Grimm's reelection piece.

Imagine that.

To learn more about Bernie Grimm just Google Bernie Grimm - last time I looked it was vying for second or third place as a Google hit.

Bernie Grimm - you have arrived.

The final organized Public Forum devoted to Tosa's mayoral race was held on Thursday, March 13th.  I was there and it was excellent.  I was told that approximately 120 people attended.

The students at Tosa East and Tosa West along with WauwatosaNOW deserve a big hand for all of their hard work in making this happen. 

I have now been to all four of the public forums and two observations stand-out:

I have the candidate's presentations committed to memory.  They both do a reasonable job of consistently repeating their respective messages.

Also, each forum has been a reunion of sorts as I'm always bumping into long and fast Tosa acquaintances.  For instance, the East faculty member that assisted the students at this venue was a classmate with my daughter all the way from Roosevelt to Longfellow through East High School. 

This is the culture of community that Tosa is all about.

According to my Debate Index Calculator - Candidate Stepaniak is the winner.  A copy of my notes are here:  TosaEastForum.pdf

Didier 112 Points and Stepaniak 279 Points

Some observations:

Pandering is back - with Didier injecting the word crime into unrelated topics or using it more than needed. 

When asked about the plans for Hart park she strayed into the past by stating that "the city never had a plan".  This bugs me and I know is has rankled others.  She said the same thing in the March 3rd forum.  She didn't misspeak. 

The truth of the matter is that there has been a Master Plan dating back to 2001.  Candidate Didier has known about this all along.  She was on the committee that is responsible for the Plan.   

Does the candidate have a poor memory, is she engaging in double speak or trolling for votes by misrepresentation? 

If the candidate is so wrong about this can you trust the accuracy of her other statements?  

What we know for sure is that the hard working folks from the city, the Park Board, and volunteers from a variety of community groups might not appreciate their countless hours spent working on the Plan over the last seven years being summarily rejected out of hand.

The loss of only two points but a major faux pas. 

When asked about the lifting of the bonding cap her answer was a rhetorical question about why it wasn't raised years ago - ostensibly before her less than 2 year tenure on the Council. 

Of what use to us is this query today? 

A useful debate adage is never to answer a question with another question.  A correct answer would have provided substantive details about alternative(s).  Redirecting a question to a different subject or backsliding into crime was a reoccurring mistake by the candidate.

Both candidates were Righteous and Hopeful although Stepaniak scored higher on this measure.

As for vision Didier certainly is enthusiastic but fails in taking enthusiasm to the next level - tell us the details please.  Stepaniak comes across as a policy wonk and played his strong suit of being detailed to the point of routinely running out of time.

Everyone was on their best behavior.

Intangibles: Candidate Didier made a point of stepping away from the podium which resulted in sporadic loss of the mic.  Candidate Stepaniak could have been more animated.  The house lights were turned-off and I struggled with my notes and pens in the darkness.  Next time I will pack my headlamp.

There is some time yet leading-up to the election so I'll probably post an observation or two on subjects brought-up in these forums that are deserving of more attention.

Stay tuned.

Tom

Reports have been filtering-in from around the city about a resurgent campaign being mounted by Tosa's third candidate for mayor.

The comment section is open for business so feel free to weigh-in on this startling phenomenon...

Tom

Three Forums so far - good ones I might add.

The February 21st forum conducted by the West Suburban Chamber of Commerce has had the largest turnout.  The questions were good.

The February 25th forum held at Eisenhower School included standout questions but was not as well-attended as I would have hoped.

Monday night's forum at St. Matt's included the best of both worlds - good attendance (I counted 60 people) and great questions.  Did you know this was my wife's idea?  Really it was.  She suggested it and I acted on it by contacting the League of Women Voters (LWV).

All the credit goes to the Milwaukee County League of Women Voters for doing the heavy lifting and for St. Matthew Church for providing the venue.  Bravo to them.

According to my Debate Index Calculator (the evening's notes are here: LWV Forum.pdf) candidate Stepaniak was the clear winner.

Stepaniak 160 Points and Didier 109 Points

Here are my immediate observations:

No pandering!  Can you believe it.  The candidates must have been inoculated or something.

Candidate Didier - Received a 2 point penalty for resurrecting the past in her assertion that there has been a lack of planning for Hart Park.  That's simply not true.  The city, many citizens and civic groups have spent countless hours and have been actively engaged in the process of directing the future of the Park. 

Both candidates scored very closely on being Righteous and Hopeful.

Again, Stepaniak's strong suite is detail on the Clear Vision thing; however, Didier is showing gains.  Both made good arguments directed toward their leadership strengths and how their respective administrations would be different.

Candidate Didier needs to renounce the use of clichés.  It's a style thing in public speaking.  The word proactive was used more times than needed. To her credit she admitted to this in one of her responses. No point reductions though.

Intangibles: Stepaniak has a folksy style.  Didier has a rah rah style.  They both need to change their wardrobe and mix it up.

Candidate Didier's closing statements alleged that candidate Stepaniak was a liar on the matter of her voting against the budget that included two new police officer positions. 

The gist of it was that the complicated budget proceedings allowed for money to be spent litigating the levying of property taxes on heretofore tax-exempt independent senior living centers.  Therefore, if money could be spent on litigation and not on cops, then money shouldn't be spent on one or the other or maybe both - which was why she voted against the budget.  I had trouble with the convoluted logic behind this and others in the audience had trouble making the connection as well. 

My suggestion is to adopt the KISS axiom to make difficult concepts easier for everyone.  No deduction of points.

Bottom line - Didier lost her endorsement from the cops to Stepaniak in this election.  

Since candidate Didier brought-up the subject of taxing senior living facilities (not me) I think the subject is deserving of a closer examination - in another post.

A copy of the calculator for you to use at the next forum can be found here: Debate Index Calculator.pdf

Bring one to the next candidate forum which will be:

Thursday, March 13 at 7:00 PM, at Wauwatosa East High School, 7500 Milwaukee Avenue.  Brought to you by WauwatosaNOW, in partnership with the two local high school newspapers - The Cardinal News and West Side Stories.

Score the candidates and have some serious fun. 

Tom

Tosa has been home to curling since 1920 - making the Wauwatosa Curling Club one of the oldest in Wisconsin.

Saturday marked the 49th Annual KrautSpiel. Here is the official award.

Starting the day with a Bloody Mary, hard-boiled eggs, followed by heading out on the ice with your friends is a good start.

It gets better.  Lunch is devoted to all manner of cabbage and pork products like spareribs, an array of sausages and homemade cabbage rolls.

Refreshing malt beverages from the Lakefront Brewery.  It doesn't get much better than that.

This guy is either the best of the wurst or the wurst of the worst. 

Terrific times with good friends on the ice - including all that cooked cabbage.

Somehow I think Tosa made its own unique contribution to global warming this weekend.

Good curling!

Tom

____________________________________________________________________________

Blogger's Note:  The name of this event is not supposed to be one word.  It seems the blogging tool recognizes the shortened derivative for sauerkraut as a really bad vulgarity.  Its publication is blocked.  If I attempt it - I get this:  *** Spiel.  Hmm.  I experimented with some even worse naughty words confirming there is a nanny in the software.  I figured-out that I could subvert the system by leaving out the space.  Don't tell the people at WauwatosaNOW.  Let's keep this our little secret.

Ok.

I have been to a couple of the Tosa mayoral candidate forums and it is time to unveil the -

Gas Pains Debate Index Calculator

I just recently thought this up and it is very scientific.

It might possibly be brilliant.

Stay with me on this as I explain the intricacies.

I begin with the premise that certain terminology, tossed-about without any context, such as: crime, tough on crime, fiscal responsibility, balanced budget, free universal health care, free beer, no new taxes, I will lower your taxes, Jim Doyle is my drinking buddy, or a chicken in every pot, are mere pandering.  Candidates shouldn't receive credit for pandering to the voters. Politicians only do it because they think it works.  (Hint - don't encourage them - it's like feeding pigeons).

To discourage pandering the index deducts one point every time a phrase like this is uttered out of the context of an answer to a question requiring the use of the word.

Similarly, the Index deducts two points with every utterance that resurrects the past - when used out of the context of answering a question requiring it.  The past is history.  There is no voting on the past - only the future.

The index has a positive bias.  Therefore, utterances that are righteous and hopeful along with clearly outlined visions (as opposed to vague and nebulous generalizations) are to be rewarded.  Candidates earn ten points each time an uplifting and positive point of view or clear vision is articulated.  Details are critical which is why the points are higher.

The index encourages healthy debate and takes a dim view of negativity. 

A candidate who takes a cheap shot - an assertion not supported by factual evidence - gets five points deducted from their score.  The index is neutral on snarkiness as a candidate who engages in it does so at their own peril.

If things get really out-of-hand and a candidate uses a disparaging term such as cat poop or booger to describe their opponent they get a ten point deduction.

Each candidate starts at zero and the candidate with the highest net score (their index) is the forum winner.

The beauty of the Index Calculator is that you can score the candidates yourself.

The absolute scientific genius of it is that any personal biases are built-into the complex algorithm.

Clever, eh?

Yes - you can even delude yourself into believing a candidate without a hope can possibly win reelection - if they show-up for a debate.  A certain former State Senator comes to mind - but I digress.

As for the February 25th Forum at Eisenhower School - here are my results:

Didier - Score +50

Observations-

1.  Reduce pandering.  Unsolicited use of the word crime almost 20 times.  (Remember - no penalty for words used to answer a question requiring their use).

2.  No resurrection of the past.

3.  I think regular town hall meetings are a terrific idea.  Has potential to be more righteous and hopeful (candidate's strong suite) if can overcome lack of detail - see #6.

4.  Clear vision suffers from lack of detail - see #6.

5.  No cheap shots that counted.  Some snideness about the challenger running over time.  The moderator offered the candidate additional time.  The candidate struggled to fill the additional time.  Dead air isn't good in a debate - refer to #6.

6.  Needs more detail.  Routinely falls-back on clichés such as:  reach across the table, come to the table, hit the ground running, new blood, keep the ball in the air - at the expense of furnishing details.  Can do a better job of staying on topic and being certain to answer the question directly.

The candidate pooh-poohed the challenger's endorsement by the Tosa police union - insinuating that endorsements require the mayor to be beholding to other interests.  The candidate must have forgotten her own endorsement by the Magnificent Six announced in a press release written in her own hand only a couple of weeks ago. 

The cops' endorsement is bad, but political cronies' endorsement is good?  No impact on points but a faux pas that left a bad impression. Ugh.

I was puzzled at the glowing suck-up to Alderman Donegan - no change in points but what the heck was that about?  

Intangibles - Likable public presence.

__________________________________________________________________________

Stepaniak - Score +166

Observations-

1.  Little use of pandering terms.

2.  No resurrection of the past.

3.  I liked the comment early-on about raising the level of discourse.  Righteous and hopeful was good - could be better.

4.  Outstanding on the issue of clear vision.  Good command of the facts and excellent detail.   Thoughtful and substantive.

The candidate needs to be mindful of time limits.  If you get too windy you get the hook.

Intangibles - Might remind you of your favorite uncle. 

 ____________________________________________________________________________

My Forum notes are here Eisenhower Forum.pdf

The Calculator still has some bugs in it and I want to get them resolved.  After April 1st, I expect to have a viable tool for use during the Presidential debates.  I already know I have to redesign the sheet for spacing.  I can probably save the Potty Mouth category for presidential debates.  Any opinions about adjusting the point system?

The Tosa mayoral race is an ideal proving ground - so your feedback and suggestions are welcome.

I sense the Calculator will be around to score forums featuring McCain and Obama.  That's gonna be a real gas.

In my continuing effort to provide a valuable public service you can conveniently print a copy of the calculator from here:  Debate Index Calculator.pdf.  

Take a copy along with a pencil to the next forum which will be: 

Monday, March 3rd - 6:30 PM at St. Matthew Church meeting hall - 1615 Wauwatosa Avenue.  Sponsored by St. Matt's and the Milwaukee County League of Women Voters.

Good luck and have some serious fun.

Tom

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Edit 2-28-08    Here is a copy of WPOA's endorsement of candidate Stepaniak

This post comes to you remotely from somewhere in the Republic of Texas where I have been enjoying a brief vacation followed-on by day-job business. 

Last evening I read an on-line press release of sorts that was published in WauwatosaNOW.

Some Alder people have endorsed candidate Didier.

They are: Tom Herzog, Brian Ewerdt, Tim Hanson, Don Birshel, Jim Krol, and Bernie Grimm.

You can read it here.

In keeping with my present rugged Texas surroundings I will dub them the Magnificent Six.

The Magnificent Six need to clear the trail dust from their eyes.

According to Herzog, "Alderwoman Didier has consistently voted against tax and spending increases, while upholding our community's high quality of life."

Birshel said, "Jill Didier is a proactive leader who has consistently voted to protect taxpayers, and she has a positive vision for the city."

Grimm says, "Alderwoman Didier has made public safety and fiscal responsibility a priority." 

OK.

Fiscal responsibility.

No spending increases.

Protecting the taxpayers.

Public safety.

Here is a really rude reality check-

Tosa taxpayers may wish to know that Alderperson Didier voted against the last budget that gave us two additional police officers.

You might want to remember that the next time you hear about crime in Tosa.

Yep.  Jill Didier says NO to any additional lawmen for you.

So much for public safety, upholding our quality of life, proactivity, positive vision, safety and protecting the taxpayers.

You can read about it here and here.

I was relating this tale to a buddy - a native Texan I will call Big Mike.

Big Mike is not a fellow to mince any words.  What he would tell you about the candidate is that, "She's all gurgle and no guts."

To be fair I'd be the first to admit that Tosa ain't Texas but I had a chuckle over the characterization.

The Magnificent Six need to read their Council Minutes.

You cannot have it both ways.

As for the six compadres Big Mike gushed, "Gosh Tom, ya'll need to remember they're nuth'n but all hat and no cattle."

Texans...you gotta love 'em.

Tom

It has been reported that a local man has begun building no-income housing within the city limits and without the prior knowledge or approval of city officials.

Exactly how this has escaped the scrutiny of the authorities is unclear.

A known builder of this type of housing, he has eluded the authorities while blatantly engaging in this practice for more than a dozen years.

Thumbing his nose at the permitting and approval process he has already constructed nine new units this winter, rehabbed two additional units and has lined-up both materials and labor to begin building at least three to four more units before the arrival of spring.

The authorities at City Hall are said to be shocked that this has been going on under their noses for so long.

When asked to comment mayoral candidate Jerry Stepaniak stated, "Development is Wauwatosa's future, but this is certainly not what I had in mind.  This guy's intentions might be good, but he's clearly obsessive.  This is an outrageous example of an individual run-amok.  I think he's got too much time on his hands."

Candidate Jill Didier staked-out a stronger stance calling for an investigation into the actions of the individual who reportedly lives in her aldermanic district.  "He's hardly got too much time on his hands.  This was carefully and thoughtfully planned.  He's a sneaky, snake in the grass who'll pay a heavy price for his actions," said Didier; "Justice will be served if I have to strangle him with a yard sign!"

Panicked residents have been flooding City Hall and the building inspector's department with calls to find out if this has occurred in their neighborhood.  

Conservative talk radio host Jeff Wagner praised Mayor Estness for her cool and measured handling of the crisis that has begun to paralyze city government.  "Wauwatosa's loss as Estness steps-down as mayor will be immeasurable" said Wagner.

The details are as follows:

My nest boxes. 

Subsidized housing for growing songbird families.

Made you look.

Springtime is practically around the corner and the basement workshop is usually home to a winter project.  This winter it is rebuilding and replacing nest boxes.  If you are looking for a project to do with the kids, a scout troop or by yourself this is really therapeutic and especially rewarding.

My wife and I have about five dozen (give or take) of these scattered about the tree farm.  Technically they are bluebird boxes but tree swallows and other cavity nesting birds and critters make their homes in them. 

Sometimes I'll find some little brown bats have set-up housekeeping.

Anyway, every couple of years the inventory of nest boxes has to be replenished as some eventually succumb to the elements. 

When building next boxes I've found a template is best.

The template allows for mass production of the component pieces - just like any manufactured housing.

Parts are interchangeable so repairs to older boxes are facilitated.  The two below are getting a new bottom and back.

The design is simple and the parts cheap.  

3/4" pine stock, cut to six standardized pieces, fastened together with 1 1/4" # 7 treated deck screws installed thru pilot holes.  A hinged roof makes taking pictures and cleaning a snap.  A hook and eye keep the lid closed. 

Stick a bit of dowel below a 35mm entrance cut with a hole saw.

This is not cabinet-making - the birds really don't care.  However, if you are anal about the fit and finish trim any errant edges so everything is tidy.

Two coats of cedar-tone exterior penetrating oil finish and you're set.

The cost of materials is about $6 per nest box.  This doesn't include labor, capitol investment in power tools, mounting post or beer consumed by the builder.  They're cheaper when you build them by the dozen and they make terrific gifts.

There you have it; affordable housing that is for the birds.

You can find the basic plans here Nest Box Plans.pdf .  My boxes are modified to include a slightly larger hinged roof and the hook and eye closure.  The floor is sized larger to fit on the bottom and not inside the walls.  The larger roof dissuades raccoons.  If the raccoons persist - shoot them.  (Caution - in the city that will certainly will get you arrested).

Mount your box on a post of your choice - you can use a green metal fence post found in any hardware store or a length of re-bar.

Clean the old nests from each box at least annually to prevent the spread of disease between broods.  Your dog will be absolutely ecstatic about rolling in the nesting material when it's tossed-out.  Girlfriend especially likes it if I evict a box full of white-footed deer mice.

A well-constructed nest box that is treated with sealant every 3 years or so will yield years of enjoyment.  The box above has a March 2001 date inside the lid.  The box in the second picture (above) with the deer in the background is eleven years old - and nearing the end of its useful life.

Enjoy!

Tom

A recent commentator to this blog quite reasonably suggested the following:

It will be interesting how TTS fits in the race since its a mix of people like me....don't know these people and those who are personal friends of a particular candidate.  I kind of think that such things should be declared so people know what context the cheap shot or rousing praise comes from.

I agree. 

A perfectly legitimate suggestion.

In the interest of full and fair disclosure this is as good a time as any to tell you where I stand. 

Allow me to begin with candidate Didier.  

I can tell you that she is not a personal friend.

She is one of my alder-persons so I know of her.  

In the short time she has been in the position of alder-person I can tell you that until recently she has always been prompt in responding to anything I had to say.

Preceding her kicking the Mayoral campaign into high gear last year I was somewhat ambivalent about her as she hadn't been in city government sufficiently long enough to form any strong opinions - good or bad.

She never sought me out for support. 

When the Didier Campaign engaged far right wing radio and the peripheral blogosphere to attack the Mayor last year I viewed that as a particularly unsavory development.

The vast majority of Tosans don't want to listen to extremist fanaticism along with its attendant personal attacks.

Didier never considered that the mayor might not run for reelection. 

She over-reached. 

It is for her exceedingly short tenure in city government and her premature, yet enthusiastic embrace of the far-right that I will not support Ms. Didier.

On the matter of candidate Stepaniak I can tell you that he also is not a personal friend. 

Until recently I only knew of the guy as a former Common Council President. 

What is noteworthy is he sought me out.  He told me he wanted an opportunity to tell me about himself and his vision for Tosa. 

We met.  We talked. 

He asked for my support. 

I told him no, that I would have to think about it. 

Apparently I thought about it sufficiently long enough that he sought me out again.  So, we talked some more and I thought about it for quite some time.

My conclusion:  Stepaniak is a bright guy with good ideas and a clear vision for Tosa.  He also has the most executive experience. 

I spent half my life in business - I get it.

In short, experience matters and that would make him the most qualified. 

My wife and I contributed $50 to his campaign.

In closing I would like to add that in the continuing spirit of full and fair disclosure and in the interest of performing a valuable public service-

I am saving you all $4.25 and a trip to the city clerk's office. 

You can peruse the candidate's Campaign Finance Reports here.

didier.pdf and stepaniak.pdf.

I'm sure you will find them revealing.

Bon Appetit!

Tom

Ahem.

There seems to be some confusion.

I lay it at the feet of the print version of WauwatosaNOW for treading so roughly upon my heretofore barely-tarnished reputation.

Seems they published the blog post about my late mother.

The copy that appeared in print was edited in such a way that girlfriend was presented as a girlfriend of the human female persuasion.

Everyone that reads this blog knows that this is girlfriend.

I am happily married and this is my wife.

The lovely little lady is our step-grandchild.

Stop now with the emails and calls.

Tom

I shoot arrows with a couple of hunting buddies once a week and we go out for dinner afterward.  Over dinner the conversation generally shifts from someone's crappy form or high score to politics.  Anyway, it usually does.  At least lately.

Last night Braumeister pointed-out that conservative pundits - radio and cable - were all lining-up to bash John McCain as not being conservative enough to deserve the Republican nomination for president.  (For the uninitiated this phenomenon has been labeled: McCain Derangement Syndrome.)  He was rather taken aback by this - at one point brandishing a meatball on a fork and sputtering, they've labeled McCain a liberal !

After puzzling over this persistent interest in the hijacking of the Republican Party by elements of the extreme right, replete with their collective anger-management issues, we shake our heads and conclude that this is the stuff over which elections are lost.  Go figure.

There has been some very recent chatter over at the TTS about conservatives, liberals and government policy. It's interesting stuff and a remarkably civil discussion.  You might want to read it and chime-in.  I finally posted some observations last night as it seemed timely - considering the dinner conversation.

During my lunch break today, I read the New York Times while pounding out my miles on the treadmill and I absorbed a very compelling editorial by David Brooks. 

Brooks argues that a funny thing has happened this primary season. Conservative voters have not followed their conservative leaders. Conservative voters are much more diverse than the image you’d get from conservative officialdom.

Brooks concludes that the Republican Party, even in its shrunken state, is diverse. Regular Republican voters don’t seem to mind independent thinking. There’s room for moderates as well as orthodox conservatives. Limbaugh, Grover Norquist and James Dobson have influence, but they are not arbiters of conservative doctrine.

It might be seemingly coincidental that three archery nuts, a Tosa message board and a Times columnist all opined upon such closely related topics. 

I think not.

What I sense is a growing backlash among moderate Republicans and independent conservatives who have had their fill of a government that seeks to intrude into so many aspects of a citizen's private life, run-away spending by the current occupant of the White House (ostensibly a conservative) and the general name-calling and marginalization of anyone in the middle who doesn't unquestioningly embrace the extreme right's brand of political correctness. 

That stinks and I figure I'm not the only person to hold that view.

So what does this have to do with the Tosa mayoral race?

I think it has everything to do with the tone of the debate as each of the candidates stake-out their positions leading up to the election - that is if there ever is to be a real debate.  (That being another topic of discussion).

Last fall, the Didier Campaign's opening salvo was calculated to use conservative daytime radio in an attempt to exploit a largely phantom issue and turn it to the candidate's political advantage.

My guess was they figured conservative media would seize upon the opportunity to attack the incumbent Mayor.  They would be correct.

In a couple of posts I called-out candidate Didier over this issue. 

If you use the correct bait you usually get a bite.  Sometimes you get to set the hook.  What was revealing about the angry exchange that ensued was who the candidate's acolytes were.    

Personally, I think it a tactical error as the Mayor sucker-punched them later with the announcement that she wasn't running for reelection.  So chalk it up to inexperience.

Since then things have been quiet.  At least I think they have.  In the sweatshop where I work no one has the time to indulge in daytime conservative radio so maybe I've missed something.

Anyway, I'm hopeful that the campaign discourse remains civil and informative.  Without Terry Estness in the race it is possible that we have been spared a record amount of vitriolic rage from the far right.  Time will tell.

I'm still waiting for a series of debates.

Heck, I'd be satisfied with just one really big, city-wide debate - but I'll not hold my breath.

Cluck!

Tom

See update at botton of post 

Looking for a new challenge?

Something fun to do on your way to or from work?

A diversion for your recently licensed teenage driver over the Christmas holiday?

I recommend the Bluemound Road Slalom.

This isn't about racing on downhill skis to negotiate a course defined by flags.

This is about racing down Bluemound Road and dodging the ever-increasing number of pot holes that have sprouted like mushrooms over the past month.

The stretch of Bluemound west of Mayfair Road to the western boundary of Tosa is losing its surface - one hole at a time.

More nasty weather on tap and the prospect for continuing freeze-thaw cycles = more holes!  

The slalom's level of difficulty is being magnified.

I'm still trying to figure out if the high speed run during daylight is more thrilling than a low speed, heavy traffic run after dark.

Check it out.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Updated -  5:20 PM 

So, I made the high-speed, cannonball run on the pot hole slalom traveling to and from lunch with my pop today.

I was looking forward to the night-time, heavy traffic challenge on the drive home from work.

Guess what. 

Sometime this afternoon someone patched the holes.

Do you suppose someone is using their city hall computer to read this blog?