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Gas Pains

Tom grew up in Milwaukee, bartended in Wauwatosa in the '70s and moved here in 1984.

Commentary, observations and musings about the outdoors, life in general and maybe Tosa politics and personalities will be the order of the day. He savors a lively debate as much as terrific cooking.

September 2008 - Posts

One Year of Gas Pains

By Tom Gaertner
Saturday, Sep 27 2008, 05:07 AM

Today is the one-year anniversary of this blogging experiment.

Can you imagine having gas pains for an entire year? 

Blech.

A total of 110 posts, 402 comments and more than 400,000 page views. One post alone has exceeded 24,000 views. 

Not that it means much but at least someone's checking-out this nonsense, eh?

Popular favorites are almost anything that has to do with Hunting/Outdoors, Tosa Trivia or the Mayor.  

I am awe-struck that such a singularly eclectic sampling of subject matter could be so popular.

Tosans must have a taste for the blood sports, the arcane and the random mayor in a black pantsuit.  Go figure.   

If I decide to continue this blog I think I shall endeavor to incorporate all three of these elements into one blog posting. 

Maybe something along these lines:  Which elected Tosa official knows how to field dress a moose?

If the official answers: Yah sure you betcha, I can do that with my eyes closed; then this person can aspire to be one heartbeat away from being leader of the free world.  

If the answer is: Ewww. Gross. That's yucky. Shriek! My nails!  Well, their political career would be done.  Finis.

You'll have to wait to see if I actually do that and what the correct answer is. 

Incidentally, when that other young fella running for leader of the free world world hears moose - do you ever wonder if he thinks this.  Scary, eh?

Damn, we got some good choices this election cycle.  But I digress.

Anyway, I  have a small confession to make.  I thought about hanging-up my keyboard and calling it quits a while back.  For a spell I really felt like packing it in. Maybe it was the brutal winter and post-election doldrums.  Who knows.  Furthermore, who cares.  The feeling passed.  At least for now.  

Lately it seems I have more to talk about.  I honestly believe all of those song birds, flowers and garden therapy had something to do with it. 

So, on one hand this would be a good point to recommit to my pitifully modest, but faithful, collection of readers.  On the other hand this would be as good a point as any to stop.  A natural dead end in the road.  Gas Pains - Kaput!

So - I dunno. 

Should I continue?

Tom


 

It's a Kid's Life

By Tom Gaertner
Tuesday, Sep 23 2008, 05:07 AM

Have any of you ever had a favorite uncle or aunt?

You know what I mean - the man or woman in your formative years that sort of filled some of the gaps. 

Maybe someone who helped you finish a lifetime chapter.

Or possibly provided an opportunity for you to scratch a lifetime itch.

Ok.  Indulged you?

I did.  More than one - too.

My wife and I invited a niece and a couple of nephews up to the farm for the weekend. 

When we're out of Tosa there is a slight paradigm shift and the aunt and uncle get to act like - well - your favorite aunt and uncle.

Anyway - here's what happened:

Stayed-up late at the fire pit, roasted marshmallows and told creepy stories

 (Actually we stayed up until midnight every night but we're not telling mom)

Went to Bay Beach in Green Bay - 25 cent rides - a nature center and Lambeau Field

Played Frisbee, launched tennis balls and threw the retriever dummy in the pond with Girlfriend

Grilled venison

Collected bones for the deer bone collection

Set live traps to catch some gophers

Went four-wheeling on the ATV

Drove the tractor

Fetched and uploaded pictures from the trail camera

Went swimming in Lake Michigan

Went to the dirt track races on Saturday night

Learned firearm basics and how to safely handle a .22 rifle

Went to the volunteer fire department's parade and picnic 

All three were ultimately returned home with only a few scrapes, bruises, burns and bug bites.

Tom


 

Gas Pains Relief

By Tom Gaertner
Friday, Sep 19 2008, 10:03 PM

It's been an interesting couple of weeks with the day job.  Long days and late hours.

Finally time for some R&R.

So Thursday my wife and I go to here:

To see this:

Click on image to enlarge

The Brewers lost that game fair and square.  Yet in many respects it was an awesome baseball game in an old school ball park.  The Cubbies' fans were genuinely fun people.  They're beginning to believe they can actually exorcise the curse.

Today was more of the day job followed by an opportunity to finally get out with my bow for some deer hunting.

I clean-up and descentify - don a pair of camo cargo pants and t-shirt.  Slipping-on a pair of rubber boots I grab my bow, arrows, camera, berry, knife, back tag and head-out.

There is just enough wind to keep the skeeters away and find a favored downwind location.  It is warm yet cool.

I walk to what might be a nice location in a swampy section of hardwoods with lots of cover - mostly nettles and poison ivy.  The ash trees still have full canopies.  I'm going to lose my shooting light a bit early.

I get myself situated up in a tree.  There is a catbird somewhere above me who announces its presence with a bold MEOW!  Repeatedly.

There is a little brown creeper climbing-about me.  A downy woodpecker pecks about on a dead tree.  A flight of geese cross the sky with loud ka-ronking

This is good.   

The Zen is awesome.  I am really relaxed. Daydreaming too.  Then...

A deer.

The daydreams are banished by an adrenaline rush.

Jeez - they always sneak-up like that - materializing like a ghost. 

Slowly picking her way through the under-story is a doe. 

Picking-up my bow I clip-on the release.

This is going to be a snap-shot.  She's at thirty paces and seemingly unaware of my presence.  Her tail is laid flat. 

I brace myself and get ready to draw.

What's this? 

Another deer.  Followed by another.

It's mama and the twins!  Small twins at that - they still have a few spots.

They walk on. 

Time passes.  No more deer.  The crickets start chirping.

The shadows lengthen and then darken. I lose my light.

A screech owl begins to call with its whiny trill.  Creepy.

I climb down and walk back to the house.  It's dark when I arrive.

I swap out of my hunting togs securing them in their tub and crack-open an OV.

It's been a fine couple of days.

Life is  good.

Tom


 

The Garden Chronicles - Memories

By Tom Gaertner
Wednesday, Sep 17 2008, 05:02 AM

One of my fondest memories from childhood is of the big family garden behind our garage.

Dad built a cold frame and topped it with an old storm door.  He showed me how to sow the seeds for the garden while winter still threatened an icy blast.

Those seeds germinated into tiny plants which were subsequently transplanted into the garden.

Bernie - from up the block - owned a rototiller that all the neighbors were allowed to borrow for getting their gardens ready to plant.  I remember the first time I was allowed to use it - it took-off on me and ran across the yard like a thing possessed until dad chased it down.  Yeah.  Once the clutch was engaged off you went - without a kill switch.

After that I was entrusted with the vast responsibility of wielding a hoe much taller than me to keep the weeds at bay.

Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, green beans, sweet corn and other truck were always on the family's summer table.

Summer turned to September - canning season.

A big production was made of driving to the farmer's stand on the corner of 76th Street and Good Hope Road (the northern edge of civilization back then) to purchase apples and pickling cucumbers.  The only other establishment was Claude Manning's simple tavern on the opposite corner.

I can still recall the steamy kitchen as dad sterilized glass jars, mom slicing pickles, me picking-thru and rinsing the dill and the smell of brine cooking on the stove top.  Dill pickles and bread and butter pickles were processed, canned and consumed until the ritual was repeated a year later.

Fall afternoons had Macintosh apples cooking with the smell of cinnamon and clove wafting through the house.  Cooked apples were turned through the grinder by hand to make homemade applesauce - the brown kind - not like the tasteless, pale, homogenized stuff you purchase in a grocery.

Sigh.  Mom is gone and dad isn't always himself lately.  We didn't even make picked beets together this year. 

But I digress.

It is pickle time. 

Pickling stuff allows for all sorts of creative expression.  Periodically I'll hand-select the largest and most handsome of garden green beans and pickle them in my secret garlic dill brine.  They are awesome in a Bloody Mary.  Besides, who doesn't appreciate receiving a home-canned curiosity at Christmastime?

Last year I made dill and Kosher dill along with sweet pickles.  The sweet pickles were tolerable - but not outstanding.  I've discarded what remained in favor of this new recipe. 

I have only a couple of humble pickle vines in the garden but they've been good producers.

Start with a big pile of cukes and allow yourself two to three days to complete everything.

 

Rinse and scrub.  Slice and soak in a food service pail (plastic or stainless - never aluminum) along with two gallons of water in which two cups of picking lime has been dissolved.  If you like - include a double handful of small sweet onions. 

Cover and store in a cool place for 24 hours.  Drain and rinse.  Soak in cold water and drain.  Do this two additional times.  Soak in cold water for three additional hours and drain.

Blend together in a large kettle the following:

2 quarts of vinegar

8 cups of sugar

1 T Kosher salt

1.5 oz (give or take) of pickling spice

Optional: a T of crushed hot peppers.

Heat the ingredients and stir until dissolved. 

Add the big pile of sliced pickles to the syrupy brine.  Cover and allow to sit for 5-6 hours or overnight.

Bring the pickle mixture to a slow boil for 35 minutes.  Stuff the jars with pickle slices and add the cooked brine leaving a half-inch of head space.  Seat the lids, screw-down the bands and heat in a hot water bath for 10 minutes.  Remove and allow to return to room temperature.  The lids will "pop" as they seal.

I ended-up with 15 pints and had to increase the brine and spices by 50%.

Interested in a bold serving suggestion?  Slap some of these zesty slices between the halves of an ordinary peanut butter or grilled cheese sandwich.  Yum.

Tom


 

Deer Camp 2008 - Archery Season

By Tom Gaertner
Sunday, Sep 14 2008, 04:44 PM

Wisconsin's archery season for deer opened on Saturday, September 12th.

I missed last year's opener.  Nonetheless - the archery hunt was pretty good for me.  I killed two deer - within minutes - the first time out.  Let me tell you - that was followed by one heckuva birthday party.  It is not likely I'll repeat that performance anytime soon. 

My lovely wife has been encouraging the emptying of the freezers. 

Tom, we should be eating wild game twice a week.

I respond with my predictably silly rejoinder. 

But, honey.  What if I don't get a deer this year?  We won't have any yummy steaks or chops left.  We'll be reduced to eating supermarket chicken.

I get the all-knowing glare in return.

Speaking of my darling wife - did any of you know that she knows how to field dress a whitetail deer?  Yep. She is darn good at it too.  She is also my right-hand person when we butcher deer.   This is why I scratch my head over all of this nattering chatter about Sarah Palin being able to cut up a moose and is thus somehow the female reincarnation of Theodore Roosevelt.  I say - big freaking deal.  This gains no traction with this hunter.  

I am patiently waiting for something of substance to pour-forth from this Sarah Palin person,  Something other than talking points.  I'm a big fan of Senator McCain so I'm willing to cut him a bit of slack- but my patience is wearing thin.  Are you ever going to let Ms. Palin come out of hiding and speak freely - maybe even spontaneously? 

Time will tell.  Meanwhile - I wait.

I digress.  Back to hunting.

My tools of the trade include a Bowtech Diamond Triumph bow.  Its compact design makes it a favorite of tree stand and blind hunters.  With a draw weight of 60 pounds it shoots 307 fps.  It is outfitted with a single pin fiber optic sight - zeroed at 30 yards - and a Ripcord breakaway arrow rest.

I shoot with a Fletchhunter Shorty release and use 470-15 Beaman Carbon Hunter arrows tipped with a 100 gr.three-blade Rocky Mountain broadhead.

Opening day dawned with rain.  Rain.  And more rain.  More of the same on Sunday.  For me bow hunting is  a Zen-like pastime - with all of this rain there was no Zen. No Zen - no hunt.  Rain also makes for poor tracking.  Rules are rules.

As a result I spent gobs of time puttering in the kitchen putting-up pickles and canning homemade tomato sauce.  I got caught-up on my reading - finishing A Thousand Splendid Suns and putting a considerable dent in John Adams.  On balance an altogether good weekend. 

Anyway - bow season doesn't close until after the first of the year so stop back periodically to see how the hunt goes.

For any bow hunters out there - hunt safely and good luck. 

One shot - one kill - make every shot count.

Tom


 

The Garden Chronicles - Canning and Freezing

By Tom Gaertner
Thursday, Sep 11 2008, 05:14 AM

Easy Salsa

Begin with the Secret Weapon.

I told you it was easy didn't I?  You can find this stuff at the grocery or Fleet Farm.

Start with approximately five pints of fresh garden tomatoes.

Scald tomatoes in boiling water for about thirty seconds and plunge into cold water.  Slip-off the skins and drain.

Coarsely chop the tomatoes and place in a stock pot.

Add Mrs. Wages Salsa mix along with a half-cup of white vinegar.

You can indulge your creative side by adding to the pot any or all of the following:

A couple of fresh green peppers - chopped medium

A couple of vidalia onions - chopped coarsely

A jalapeƱo pepper - chopped fine

A large carrot - chopped medium

A couple of garlic cloves - chopped fine

A tablespoon or so of crushed red pepper

A handful of fresh cilantro - chopped

Bring to a boil then simmer for 10 minutes

Fill pint jars with hot salsa mix.  Leave a half-inch of head space.  Wipe the glass rims clean and seat the lids.  Screw down the bands.  Place in a canning pot, cover with hot water, bring to a slow boil and cook for thirty minutes.  Remove and allow to cool.  The lids will "pop" as the jars seal.

You can also freeze the stuff although putting it-up a jar is shelf-stable and saves freezer space.

I got carried away with the tomatoes and along with the extra ingredients ended-up with eight pints. 

If you are entertaining mix a jar of this with a can of black beans (drained) and a cup of fresh-frozen sweet corn (see below) and serve with chips.

Frozen Sweet Corn

Start with a pile of freshly-picked garden sweet corn.

Shuck the corn and remove all the silk.  Start a big pot of water to boil.

Scald the corn in the boiling water and immediately plunge into icy water.  The ears must be cold before cutting and freezing.

Note:  If you are putting-up whole kernel corn you will want to scald the ears for four minutes.  If you are freezing whole ears then scald for seven minutes.  Try limiting four ears at a time to any one pot otherwise you'll lose your boil and the scalding will be all screwed-up. 

For whole kernel corn slice the nibblets off of the ear with a sharp knife. Periodically strop the knife on a steel to keep the edge sharp and the cutting easy.  Call your dog to the kitchen to Hoover-up the kernels that will inevitably fly to the floor (saves clean-up time).

Put the cut nibblets in a colander to drain.

Vacuum seal with a Food Saver in portions suited to personal use.  Freeze immediately.

 

Enjoy!

Tom


 

Overnight Delivery - Guaranteed!

By Tom Gaertner
Monday, Sep 8 2008, 05:06 AM

I was out riding my bicycle recently and stumbled-upon what might possibly be the US Postal Service's top-secret, express mail delivery system...

Click on image to enlarge

Tom


 

The Garden Chronicles - Sweet Corn!

By Tom Gaertner
Friday, Sep 5 2008, 05:03 AM

A bit late but worth the wait. 

Just-picked sweet corn along with a mess of Wisconsin pan fish and you have a formula for terrific eating.

But I digress.

The garden is producing record quantities of green beans.

The tomato infection was resolved by picking and discarding all of the sick fruit.  

So far, personal consumption has matched tomato production. 

BLTs. 

Tomato snacks. 

Omelets with tomatoes and Feta cheese. 

Tomatoes with baby mozzarella and basil.

You get the picture.

When the Roma plants kick it into high gear I'll be shifting into salsa and pasta sauce mode.

The pickle bin is filling

Cantaloupes are coming on-line.

There is even this psychedelic kale.

Tom


 

Talk'n to the Dog

By Tom Gaertner
Monday, Sep 1 2008, 08:40 PM

Labor Day. 

Girlfriend and I get up early and go for an extended walk before breakfast.

It's the dove opener.

Someone wasn't exactly mouse-like when we left at sun-up.  (That would be Girlfriend - not me)  My wife got a chuckle out of that.

The dog has priorities.

On the outbound trip she's snuffing and huffing - tearing around - waiting for birds to fly and the report of a 12 gauge.

It's her first official hunt of the season so I can cut her some slack for being overly enthusiastic.

Every time she gets a bit ahead a toot on the whistle brings her back.

Click on image to enlarge

Periodically she stops - intently sniffing something disgusting - and rolls in it. 

Very lady-like.

Some birds are flying - but not anywhere close to us.

Nonetheless it's a glorious morning - cool ground fog and a heavy dew - with the  prospects of 90 degrees by midday.

Hey, stinker - how's your 401k doing lately?  Disappointing, eh?

I get a quizzical look in return.

Hey, stinker - don't you worry about running out of money when you're too old to hunt?

At the word hunt she halts in her tracks - the head tilts and simultaneously the ears shift.

Don't worry sweetie.  I got your retirement covered.  Guaranteed. 

I get a blank look.

I got your health care covered too.  First-dollar - no deductible or managed care for my Girlfriend.

 It's not free for nuth'n, either. 

You earned it.

The hard way. 

Really.

I get a Labrador snort in return and the dog resumes walking with that quizzical what the heck is he talking about look. 

Back and forth we go.

The cat birds are calling.  Meow.  

Girlfriend is beginning to slow.

Her early exuberance has taken some of the snot out of her attitude.

We commence the walk back to the house - the long way - and she's hanging pretty close now.

Hey knucklehead - did you hear that McCain and Obama are neck-and-neck in the polling? 

What'a ya think about that Sarah Palin?

She's an outdoors girl ain't she?

Dog perks-up.

C'mon brown-eyed girl - don't you know how important this moment in history is?

I get the quizzical look from her intelligent brown eyes.

So, stinker now that it's dove season we're gonna really hunt'em-up aren't we?

Dog sits.  Looks at me intently.  I get the happy tail.

Find the bird.  Hunt'em-up.  

The dog tears-off - quartering - and returns when the whistle sounds.

Good job! 

Alright baby cakes.  Let's get home.  You and I are going to have breakfast and coffee on the porch and we'll figure-out the rest of this nonsense later

Dog bounds-off joyously.

You're so handsome, you're so pretty, you're the belle of Belfast City.

So much for talking politics with the dog. 

Priorities you know...

Tom

Oh come on. 

Admit it. 

If you have animals - you talk to them. 

I know you do.


 
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