Family Guy

Tosa Baseball League’s
 Free Winter Training Clinic
Saturday, March 3, 2007

Tosa Baseball League players are invited to attend a skill-building training clinic for co-ed baseball & girls softball players, ages 7 to 14.
      Tosa Baseball League’s Annual Winter Clinic provides skill-building activities to strengthen players’ throwing, fielding and hitting. The Winter Clinic is conveniently held at Wisconsin Lutheran College  (89th & Bluemound) 

Clinic times vary depending on the division. Check out the website, www.tosabaseball.com, for specific times and details.
Kid food (hot dogs, chips, drinks) are also provided at no charge!

      If you haven’t registered your child for the 2007 season, it’s not too late! Registration forms will be available at the Annual Winter Clinic, and can be downloaded from the Tosa Baseball's website. Questions? Contact: Tracy Lockhart at 414/453-5173.

To help Wisconsin urban centers with their prevalent
crime & related social problems, Governor Doyle
announced Tuesday that he has declared a War on Poverty.

There is a little known section in the State Constitution that
allows the Governor to exercise a Right to declare war if
the State is under siege. Currently Milwaukee and other
Urban areas are seeing a spike in violence which has prompted
the Governor to take action. Under the "State of War" the
Governor doesn't have to get approval from the State Legislator
Or State Senate. Also, the Governor can direct unlimited
State funds to areas which need resources the most.

Governor Doyle said "I think we need only $400-$500 million to
help Milwaukee kick out the bad guys and restore order. There
also may be an additional $300-$500 Million needed to rebuild
the infrastructure. I think $1 Billion would be the outside estimate
of the funds needed.

Asked how the Governor expected to pay for the war, he said
"Just like the Bush administration" "We will keep the cost off budget
so are our budgets look balanced and borrow the funds from the Chinese.
The current taxpayers won't have to feel the pinch, we just leave the
debt to the younger taxpayers (under 45). "Taxpayers aren't smart, they
haven't figured it out in Iraq and they probably won't here"


Governor Doyle thinks this "War" will be his legacy and saving the City of Milwaukee
is the State most important priority.

Mayor Barrett was unavailable for comment, but his spokesmen
said "we will take any money we can get--in $10 & $20 preferably.

In order to reduce crime at Mayfair, the shopping center is considering donating their
theater to the "Friends of Hoyt Pool" I will try and get more information as it becomes available.
 
Currently Mayfair is looking at trucking firms that can move the building.

1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.

2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.

3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.

4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.

5. 42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.

6. 99 PERCENT OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.

7. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

8. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.

9. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.

10. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST.

11. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.

12. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS

THE CHEESE.

13. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.

14. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.

15. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.

16. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.

17. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.

18. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE!

19. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.

20. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!

21. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.

22. HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.

23. OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?

24. HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?

25. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.

26. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.

27. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.

28. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.

29. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?

30. HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?

31. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.

32. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?

33. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.

34. I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.

35. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?

36. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED.  

37. JUST REMEMBER, IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.

38. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH
 IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.

39.  IF YOU ARE NOT LIVING ON THE EDGE, YOU ARE TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE



THANKS PHIL FOR SHARE THESE!

At Tuesday’s Common Counsel meeting Alderman Vandelay (9th district) offered a plan for a temporary surge of one additional Police officer to combat the increased violence at Mayfair Mall.
Vandulay said the surge would be temporary, however there is no timetable for a withdrawal.    “We want to help Mayfair's security
stop the violence and help them get a firm hold of the troublemakers.  We don’t want to be there indefinitely, just until
Mayfair’s private security force can handle it for themselves”. 

Alderman St.Hubbins (10th district), an opponent of Vandelay’s stand on Mayfair is offering his own non-binding referendum on the surge.   “After three years of a flawed policy and increased violence at Mayfair, it’s time for change.   We can’t afford more police & money with the status quo which has not worked.   It is time for the Counsel members to stand up and be counted”

The surge plan appears to ready to become a reality.  It’s now just “wait & see”
whether it works.

Five ways to poison your husband this Valentine day

Now that I got the wives attention, here are a few
Hints on what guys want for Valentine’s day.

1.      Guy Video—Not the dirty ones but something totally stupid
             like, Animal House, Caddyshack, Spinal Tap, Stripes, etc.
         Any video you think is really stupid, he would probably love.

2.      Make a Guy meal.  Not a Rachel Ray meal, I mean like Mac & Cheese,
Beans & Franks, Cheese Burgers & Onion Rings or Meatloaf.  The kids will
thank you too.

3.      “Free night out with the guys” pass or “Card night” pass.  Always popular and doesn’t cost much.
         You can even invite the girls over when he is out.

4.      Tickets to his favorite sporting event.   Doesn’t have to be front row, nose bleeds are ok—it’s the thought that counts.  Make sure to buy music tickets for yourself.

5.      An extra remote control with his name on it (preferably in a case) with the understanding that no one else can touch it.  Hide it when you are mad at him.

Now for the guys.   Your significant other just want your undivided attention
If you can’t give her that then DIAMONDS (they last longer then we do).           

Just a helpful hint this valentines day.                                                           

 

I disagree with Karen Waldkirch’s assertion that you cannot blame Mayor Estness
for the problems at Mayfair Mall.   By the city’s inaction, Mayfair is fast becoming
a haven for illegal activity.   The common counsel and ultimately the Mayor are responsible for keeping
Wauwatosa citizens safe.   Look at any crime map of Wauwatosa.
Without any streets or other reference points, Mayfair can be located by being in the middle of the “little circles with numbers in them” (crime identifiers).

We don’t elect the Mayfair Mall managers, we do elect the Mayor and counsel members.

When there was a shooting on Water Street last year, it was Mayor Tom Barrett that
came out with a statement on the shooting.

Also, the idea of sending the Mayfair Mall manager email is a bit naive.  It’s not surprising that there was no return email.   Mayfair Mall makes money on rents not sales.
If you want to email someone at Mayfair, you should email either manager of the anchors  (Sax & Macy).  Tell them you are shopping at Brookfield Square or Bayshore.  Their
bonuses are tied to sales/profits so they are the ones who cares about shopper opinions.

Mayfair & the City are now trying to work together to improve the safety situation
at Mayfair.  In recent weeks Mayfair & the City’s image has been tarnished. I think the
steps Mayfair is taking is good, but they also need to consider not starting movies after
6:00 pm.  Also, Mayfair Theater should consider not showing R rated movies.  I know
the City can’t tell the theater what to show & when, but they can threaten to stall further expansion plans at Mayfair if the violence continues.    

In conclusion, a well run Mayfair Mall that is not a crime magnet is a great asset to
Wauwatosa.  A Mall that only looks at revenues without costs of crime is a drain on the
City’s resources.  It’s incumbent on our City officials to actively manage Mall Management (either by carrot (more development) or stick (stalled development & fees)
and steer the Mall in the right direction.

The Mayor needs to be proactive not reactive on stopping Mall violence.

 

Alderman Vandelay (9th district) is seeking a Hate-crime Enhancer
for the man accused of voting twice in the November election. 
After Vandelay saw the accused voter’s car which sported a “Doyle Sucks”
license plate holder and a “Mark Green” bumper sticker, Vandelay
asked the man “what’s up with the license plate holder".  The accused
Trent Jayolinski said “I hate Jim Doyle—that tax spending, casino money
loving, governor is bad for the State and doesn’t deserve to represent the
people of Wisconsin”  “I voted twice to help rid the State of this corrupt politician.
tou can call me a criminal, but I am really a victim of governor insane ideas”

Vandelay didn’t buy the argument and told the City Attorney that “this guy is
full of hate and  I have never seen a clearer case where the “hate crime enhancer
should be invoked”.

The City Attorney and the Mayor were unavailable for comment

 

The current love triangle/attempted murder of a NASA
Astronaut has overshadowed some tremendous ground breaking
experiments that are currently taking place by NASA astronauts
on the International Space Station.
At the request on of the Bush administration and funded by our
tax dollars, astronauts are currently conducting an important
experiment to see whether pigs can fly in zero gravity.

President Bush has also contended that pigs can fly and this
experiment intends to test his theory. The Pig which had surgically
attached wings was sent up to the Space Station by Space Shuttle.
The pig named "billy" is going to be tested to see if it can fly like
a bird in zero gravity.

The experiment estimated cost is $45 Million "but if it proves that
pigs can fly it worth every penny", stated President Bush

Bush is hopeful that the experiments go we and is already asking
NASA to use the next Shuttle to prove his next thesis.

Bush's next experiment in zero gravity of the space station is to
send up an Iraqi Sunni & Iraqi Shia and see if they can not kill each other.

If this experiment is successful, Bush sees hope for the Iraq war.

This week (one of the coldest in the last ten years) saw an escalation in
unlawful behavior at Mayfair Mall (Tosa’s Crime Central).
As the common council wrestled with parking problems at Mo’s & Sendix,
Tosans and the Tosa Police bore the brunt of the City’s non-existent policies
towards Mayfair Mall.
A car Jacking @ Walgreens (across the street from Mayfair), an assault on the bus
against a 20 year old tosan and a mob of over 100 teens attacking a bus that refused
to pick them up (wonder what happened to the mob when they were stuck At Mayfair)
were just the activities which made the headlines.  I wonder all the others that didn't.

I amazes me that the City is doing nothing to address these serious safety issues.
Is parking more important than a citizen having a gun put to her head!

Will it take a shooting to wake the City up to the escalating violence that is now
commonplace at Mayfair??   The Police department is currently stretched to thin
as it is and with Mayfair it may be at it’s brink.

If it is this bad in the middle of winter, what can we expect this summer?

The City must address safety issues with Mayfair Management now before it
gets worse.   Mayfair must take pro-active measures to reduces the increasing violence.

What good is it to have a shopping mall were older citizens & kids are continually victimized?

Wauwatosa deserves better from City Hall & Mayfair!

 

Fox Sports has warned the Superbowl halftime music artist
“Prince” not to expose his nipple during his musical performance.

Prince is known pushing his sexuality and may use the Superbowl
to resurrect his fading music career. (like Janet Jackson)

Fox is considering a five second delay as a way to make sure it
catches the “nipple” before it is exposed to hundreds of millions of
views, many of whom have never seen a “nipple” before and may
be offended.

The FCC has also warned Fox Sports that any “costume malfunctions”
would cost the station dearly. Aber Sencer from the FCC stated that
“we want the viewing public to have a good experience and not be
exposed to such a objectionable, classless act as Price’s chest.

Hopefully, this is just a hoax and Prince “keeps it clean” but get
your DVR’s ready, should be a good show.

ExxonMobil today announced a special “thank you” to US drivers for
giving the company the largest World corporate profit in the history of mankind.

The Dallas based company made almost $40 Billion in 2006, in large part by
hiking the price of gas to over $3/gal during the past year.  

“The US consumers was a great part of our success” stated ExxonMobil president
 I.M. Richie, “and we would like to thank them by offering free cups of
Coffee on February 15” (National Gas Company Appreciation Day).

The Bush administration applauded ExxonMobil as a great corporate company
and has vowed to keep giving the company Billions in corporate tax
breaks to look for new oil reserves.

ExxonMobil also in an act of good faith, has decided to reduce it’s funding of over 75 front groups which it paid at least $19 million dollars since the negotiation of the Kyoto Protocol (1997) for a misleading campaign to cloud the public's understanding of global warming. Exxon said they were sorry for trying to counter balance the overwhelming scientific evidence of man-induced climate change with pseudo scientific denials to derail reforms that might effect corporate profits.
Exxon said it will apologize for helping ousting of the world's top climate scientist Robert Watson as chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

In closing ExxonMobile has guaranteed that it will do what it takes to make $50 billion next year,
even if it means causing a recession.    As I. M Richie, stated “we can't help it if the US
consumer is addicted to oil (like ex-oil man President Bush stated). We will give them as much as they
want, at whatever price we want”

Don’t forget to get your free cup of Joe this Feb 15th!