Family Guy

Gun lover and host of the local cable show "Huntin & Killin!", Jimbo Stricker has
lent his support to State Senate canidate Tom Reynolds. "Tom's one of us, and
supports the conceal & carry law". Jimbo also said "I wish they would drop the conceal
part and let me carry. Crime in Wauwatosa is crazy and if more people were "packin"
then crimes won't be takin place. I would love to have one of those bad guys come and
hassle me--he would learn a lesson real quick"

Jimbo is trying to orgainze a ice cream social to raise money for Reynolds. "Reynolds
has to win, because I am ready & willin to help stop the Tosa Crime spree with my
new gun" (pictured below)

Reynolds was unavailable for comment

After three months of blogging, I would like to say thanks!

Thanks to NOW editor Mark Maley and CNI editor Jeanne Wieland for starting
the blogs.

Thanks to the people who read and hopefully enjoy the blogs.

Thanks for my friend at my work for giving me funny jokes to pass along.

Thanks to my wife & kids for access to our family computer


With that said, I have come up with the following rules which I will try to
follow in future blogs. I will call them the following:

Ten Commandments of Blogging

Since we all worship different gods, these commandments are
only for myself.

1. Never criticize another blog or blogger (except when they criticize you/yours)
2. Always thank people who email you, even if they disagree with you.
3. Use spellcheck.
4. Try to check our facts when you write about something (unless you are making a story up)
5. Remember not to burn bridges, toll ways, and tunnels.
6. Give credit where credit is due.
7. Don’t shy away from regional or global topics (if something bugs you, get it off your chest)
8. Mix it up! Just like emotions, blogs should be funny, serious, nonsensically, gross, heartwarming, idiotic and sometimes bland.
9. Learn to use pictures & audio on my blogs. (I want to put the Rascals “Ray of Hope”
on a blog.

10. Don’t consider yourself a serious journalist, poet, or philosopher (never have, never will)
I am just a very opinionated guy with a weird sense of humor.

11. Spend more time, playing with the kids, cleaning and less time blogging.

What would Milwaukee do with $1.5 Billion Dollars?

On my way to work today, I was listening to NPR and there was General George Casey
saying we (our government) spends $1.5 Billion dollars a week on Iraq. General Casey
said that Iraq is on the brink of a civil war and we may be expending lives & money for the
next 5-10 years without a guarantee of a positive outcome.

I thought what a waste!

Image, if each week, our government would give a US city (starting with the largest)
$1.5 Billion to do whatever the city wanted. I figured Milwaukee would get there
$1.5 Billion in the 20th or 30th week. What would we spend it on??

Would we rebuild 100 intercity schools and give the next generation a fresh start?
Would we fill those schools with qualified well paid teachers??

Would we pay for health care for the uninsured or underinsured?

Would we support alternative transportation methods to relieve congestion and
provide cleaner air?

Would we build affordable low cost housing for the unemployed and underpaid?

Would we promote business incubators to help build a strong manufacturing base?

Would we build a tunnel to store rain water runoff to keep it from going into the lake? (been there, done that)

Would we hire more police and build more prisons?

Would we rebuild the parks & pools?


Iraq didn’t cause 911. They didn’t ask us to save them. We need our government to save our cities.

One Billion at a time.

Ten reasons why Tom Reynolds has decided to back out of his scheduled candidate forum with Jim Sullivan:

1. Because he would have to buy a new suit.

2. Because he might say something stupid like “I can make gay guys straight”

3. Because he might say something stupid like “School should ban Truman Capote & Tennessee Williams books”

4. Because he might say something stupid like “we should discipline pharmacists who dispense condoms”

5. Because he might say something stupid like “we should make sure the Tosa Library
doesn't loan “Rain Man” to minors.

6. Because he might say something stupid like “Cervical Cancer Vaccines may cause girls to become more sexually active and therefore shouldn’t be approved”

7. Because he might say something stupid like “I think it’s ok to use
government letterhead to push my religious beliefs”

8. Because he might be asked what have you done for Wauwatosa?

9. Because he doesn’t like speaking to intellegent people.

10. Because he thinks Jim Sullivan has better ideas.


PS. I did go to the candidate forum and sat with about 200 people listening to questions
both scripted and unscripted. I agreed with most of Jim Sullivan's answers. Some
questions (eg. School choice) he rode the fence on, and some difficult ones (jobs moving
to China) he really didn't answer (maybe because answers aren't available).
I came away thinking that Sullivan represents Tosa and cares about the community.
I really thought Tom Reynolds would show up and debate the issues (which would mean
that I would unpublish is blog) but he didn't. If a canidate cannot stand up and let the
people decide who's idea's they prefer, than that canidate won't get my vote.

Slightly Used Bass Boat. Solid, comfortable & reliable. $500 or obo. Call Jerry Jeff at BR549
for more information. Double click on picture to enlarge photo.

Wauwatosa is always looking for fun new places to eat.

Here's a great one.

Pedro’s Wok


Many times on a Friday night my wife & I argue over what carryout
we want to pickup. She most times craves Chinese when I really want
Mexican. Just recently, I heard of this place in Mussel Sholles Alabama
that combines the two country’s ethnic foods into one totally gastric
feeding frenzy.
After eating at Pedro’s Wok you won’t be hungry in an hour but you may
need some beano to keep your honey happy.


Pedro’s Wok features are as follows:

Appetizers: Jalapeno egg rolls, fried chili wontons,
Crabmeat Rangoon/salsa

Soups: Egg drop Verde, Hot & sour cactus & Crispy noodles tamales

Meals: Szechwan chicken in Mole’ (Hot)
Moo Goo Gai Pan Burritos
Sweet & Sour Taco’s
Mongolian Quesadillas
General Tso’s rancheros
Hunan Chili Rellenos
Kung Pao Chimichangas (Hot)

Drinks: Jasmine Margaritas
Ginger Tequila
Dos Hwa Jeer Beer
Sweet bean tea


All meals come with complimentary Fortune chips and sweet & sour salsa

Pedros Wok “Where East meets South”

Hopefully coming soon to Tosa, unless they would be restricted
by the Planning Board.

LIZARD BIRTHING


Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't TH AT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

"Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just... that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea,"

Closed mouth, m y wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 - Lizards - $140...
1 - Cage - $50...
Trip to the Vet - $30...

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie...Priceless

Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs!









This didn't happen to me, it was sent to me. Hope you found it as funny as I did!

The Plan Commission came out with a rough draft of the new city ordiance for restricting
businesses and what they can sell.

Alderman Vandulay is helping to draft a specific ordinance against new establishments
that are planning on doing business east of 92th street.

The following is a preliminary list of restricted businesses:

Anything business with “Check-N-Go” in the title

Loves Liquor

Crazy Al’s Guns & Amino

Slipperly Rick’s Hip Hop Dance Club

Pedro’s Pawn shop

Jimbo’s Pipe & Smoke shop

Toyna’s Tattoo parlor

Tosa News (adult book & video) Store

Tosa Gentlemen’s Club

Tobacco Outlet Center (except for the one on 117th & North)

Rent-a-Center (remember those)

Mr. P’s Tires (I have to go to the one in Hales Corners)

Dollar Store (other than Drews)

Ice Cream Trucks with loud music

Women’s reproductive health clinics

Self Service Gas Station (oh that’s right this isn’t New Jersey)

Aldi’s

Speed Queen BBQ

Metropolitan Cadillac

Tim’s Taxi Service

Businesses that sell 40 oz bottles (except Diet Coke)

Bus Stops (except at 60th, 76th & 92th) streets. I know, not a business!

And after a heavy lobbying campain from shoppers, Mayfair (Tosa's crime capital) gets to stay.

Looking for something different in picnic foods-- got a great one!

Cold Spaghetti Salad

A woman I work with is the second best cook I know (my wife being the first or maybe my mother in law)
anyways. This week, we had a salad day (everyone brings a salad or salad item). Ruth, who always brings
the best stuff, brought this salad and it was fantastic! I asked for the recipe and here it is.


1 lb spaghetti, cook & drain (smaller pieces)
2 cucumbers, cubed
2 tomatoes, cubed
1 medium purple onion, chopped
Green & Yellow pepper (I use 1/2 each)
1 can sliced black olives
1 large bottle Light Italian Oil Dressing
1/2 - 3/4 bottle McCormick Salad Seasoning

Mix all ingredients together and refrigerate

Great for veggie lovers.

Can add Salami, Parmesan Cheese & Mushrooms if you like.


If you have a summer salad recipe you would like to share, email me @ jrhart@wi.rr.com
and I put together a couple more. Stories with the recipes are great additions.

Life's too short not to eat!

While the Wauwatosa Common Counsel last Tuesday considers it’s options
with Quick Checks (EZ Corp), another player in the lucrative check cashing
market has emerged - Miracle Loans.

Miracle Loans, the financial arm of Miracle Homes (founded by the Rev. Tom Hignight)
is a new venture for the highly successful Home Building Co.& Evangelist Church.

Miracle Loans provides customers with check cashing services and, as an added
bonus, religious teaching. Because Miracle Loans is incorporated as a church organization,
it’s classification would essentially skirt around restrictions meant to
deny other check cashing business from doing business in East Towne.

Miracle Loans makes money not by charging a fee for check-cashing or advance payday loans,
but by asking for a tax deductible donation to the Church of Later Day Homebuilders”

The donation structure are as follows:
Cashing a personal check or payday advance
Christians 2% of the check amount
Catholics & Lutherans 3%
Muslims & Hindus 5%
Agnostics 7%
Pagans 10%
Homosexuals & Devil worshipers 0% but must agree to go to a
one hour counseling session


Business Manager for Miracle Loans, Jerry Dogooder, stated, “this is a great way for our church to reach out to those cannot afford our homes. It’s a real honor to help the disadvantaged of Tosa both spiritually & financially.”

Alderman Vandulay who acknowledged receiving guidance (and donations) from Miracle Loans said “we will review the merits of this request and make sure the people of
Wauwatosa benefit from our decision”

The mayor was unavailable for comment

Miracle Loans is a Delaware licensed corporation and is a Christian based company

Ten places to go in August

1. Ottawa Lake in So. Kettle Moraine State Forest
Hwy 67 south around 8 miles (pass Hwy ZZ) left exit.
Ottawa is a beautiful lake with a sandy beach and no motorized
boat traffic. Campsites are usually available in the summer from
Monday-Wednesday. Great for canoes & Kayaks.
Don't forget your floaty louge chairs!

2. Summer Sizzle in the 3rd Ward. Great free Jazz festival starting
Friday Aug 4 going through the 5th. Nils & Delfeayo Marsalis will headline.
Great music, food, artwork and people watching. It’s free and a great
way to see the 3rd Ward’s renaissance.

3. Grant Park (seven bridges). Great place to picnic on our beautiful
lakefront without the crowds and parking hassles of Bradford or Veterans.
Sandy beaches and seashells abound.


4. State Fair (Aug 3rd -13th) I know that you are thinking –crowds, $$ & carnies.
The fair has cleaned up it’s act. Go during the midweek to beat the crowds.
Take the shuttle instead of trying to find parking. Good music such as Neville Bros for $10. Don’t forget your strawberry milk for a quarter. The big pig awaits—last year’s “Big Balls” weighted in at over1200lbs!

5. Hanson Golf Course for Nite Glow Golf (Aug 4th & Aug 18th)
$14 per person. Fun for kids too! You are guaranted to shoot your
best round ever (because no-one can see how many times you missed the ball)

6. Boerner Botanical Gardens in Hales Corners. Aug is perfect for seeing
All the flowers & bushes in bloom. Good idea for next year’s planting.

7. Underwood Parkway, off of 91st street & Menomonee Parkway. The old
nursery. Bring your dog. You won’t get to see this place to much longer
because it will be under water. Good for bird watching, deer sighting and
stone kicking. I will really miss this place.

8. Milwaukee Zoo Ala Carte. Good music, great food & two/four legged
creatures abound. Have some oriental noodles, a beer & listen to Head East.
Remember Sunday night is barter night when vendors will unload lots of
treats for little tickets. Also important, the Zoo is a park, so you can bring
in drinks & food if you want to go on the cheap side. Aug 17-21.

9. West Allis Farmer’s Market 65th & National Ave.
WAFM has a wide range of produce arrives at the market throughout the year. The early season brings bedding plants, radishes, asparagus, and rhubarb. Strawberries and raspberries arrive in June as well as zucchini, squash, peas, snap beans. Corn arrives about a week after July 4 along with many other squashes and herb plants. The late season brings fresh apples and cider. Chickens and fresh eggs are always available.
Open on Tuesdays and Thursdays from noon to 6:00 pm and on Saturdays from 1:00 pm to 6:00 pm.


10. Your back yard. I thought we could see mars but that was a hoax. Invite of couple of friends over
and sit back and relax and enjoy people and your flowers (that took 3 months to get that way and which
will be gone by Tosafest)

Enjoy August because winter is cold!