If you‘re trying to learn to be more assertive, watch the pros. Kids put up with nothing. They twist, turn, whine and beg in category five. They pop-vein scream as they roll back and forth across the floor, squashing our facial and verbal admonishments like flames on burning clothes. Then the little manipulators look up to see if anyone has noticed. It must feel wonderful.
Kids state their needs loud and often. They have to go to the bathroom and everybody knows. Need a drink? Somebody had better take them. They are bored, so get them out or else. They know they’ve got us, and that as children they have the luxury of acting infantile. They can get away with tugging and pulling, crying or stomping and there’s nothing we adults can do about it. When they are shushed after repeating, “I’m thirsty!” about a million times, they point to their tongues and pantomime dying in the desert, sliding down their mother’s legs as they transition to the ankle clamp. They want attention, and 9 out of 10 times they get it. Those lucky stiffs.
When was the last time you got to stomp around yelling, “IT’S NOT FAIR!“ How long has it been since you told someone he was a stupid doo-doo head? We adults have been domesticated. We take all that wonderful raw emotion and furiously type it into memos, editorials, and blogs. We follow protocol and wait our turns, while mumbling under our breath. We’ve learned to delay gratification to the point of actually putting our hopes of it in karma and reincarnation.
In a world that can be extremely frustrating, it’s probably just as well.
